HAPPY 1st BDAY BLOG!!! yay!

Today is a very very very special day for me!! *unable to contain the huge toothy smile.. hehe* Drumroll please...

Its my BLOG"S BIRTHDAY!!!! Yayyyyy!!!! My blog has turned a year old today.. n i feel amazing for having kept it thriving for so long!!! kudos to me!! :)

*sings*
Happy bday to you...

Happy Bday to uuu...

Happy Bday dear Blog..

Happy Bday to youuu....
*applause please...*

n along wid all this, this also happens to be my 50th post. wowie wow. i m grinning lik a fool.. *sings to herself*

Thanks to everyone who kept Blogsville from turning into a depressing place for me, (lik orkut has lately!!), thanks to everyone who connected wid the things i write, widout even knowin the person who wrote them.. thanks a lot YOU!! for coming here, n making me do something i wudnt hav followed so passionately otherwise... THANKS!!

HAW...

I am in a *grinning foolishly* mood... so i want to introduce u all to my bestest cutest loveliest friend. His name is HAW *as in d :O look.. * He has the bluest eyes I have ever seen and the cutest lost expression on his face. No matter hw shitty my day, Haw always makes me smile. His paws are so soft, i feel wonderful to clutch them in my own tiny hands. :)

Haw means the world to me. Every night i goto sleep with Haw right beside me, and the first thing that greets me are Haw's bottomless beautiful eyes. I carry Haw wid me everywhere i go, and no matter hw i m feeling, Haw always makes me feel all warm inside and amazingly silly in love.
lolz. :D

Ok, nw i getting really boring to all u ppl. forgive me for my temporary bout of craziness. :D

Annie.

Disclaimer: I have always maintained that I am a total kid!! :)

Slow Down You Crazy Child...

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
You are still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you an just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
But you know you can't always see when you're right

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll al come true
When will you realize... Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook
And disappeaar for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you.

~~~~~

P.S: Hav been hearing this song for a while now. Most ppl dunno abt it. Its called "Vienna" - Billy Joel. Feels lik he was speaking to this crazy child called Annie...

TAGGED!!! By Nikhil... *Damn! I Love Tags!!*

*Really Long Tag. So plz bear wid me.. lol*

1. Last beverage: Actually I jus had cough syrup, bt since i wudnt want to classify tht as beverage, i'll say coffee. lolz.
2. Last phone call: Mom, shes worried sick tht i am unwell. :(
3. Last text message: Moni.. HAIL 160 by 2 *bown down*
4. Last song you listened to: Teri Yaadein *LOVE STORY*
5. Last time you cried: Yesterday.. hav been lik dat on-off lately…

HAVE YOU EVER...
6. Dated someone twice: Umm... Not yet. (Once the gone's the gone's..)
7. Been cheated on? NO.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? Yes.. ppl. Stop imagining who. U wudnt know.
9. Lost someone special? Yes…
10. Been depressed? Haven’t been anything else since a long time now.
11. Been drunk and threw up? Nope. I dun lik to lose control over myself, so I avoid getting REALLY drunk. Smart huh? :P

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Blue
13. Black
14. Red

HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: I make new frnds all d time.
16. Fallen out of love: To be honest, No. A part of the relationship always stays, no matter wht. N I havnt ever had horrible relationships.?
17. Laughed until you cried: Oh yes. I m a member of d Wizards Gang. Wht else to expect huh? Do I hear some cheers in dbackground?? :)
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes.
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes.. Life changing search process it was.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: HAHAHA *sarcastic laugh* Ppl talk abt me d time. :D
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Ummm….. Yes. *wink wink*
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: A majority of my newest and dearest frnds, I hav never met. And the d rest of d ones that are very close to me, I meet them everyday.
23. How many kids do you want to have: Three.
24. Do you have any pets: Not exactly. I had them at d place I stayed earlier. 3 cats.
25. Do you want to change your name: I wanted to some time back. Now no. I love d way ppl call me ‘Annie’ or 'Ans' nw.. hehe.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Cried a lot. Plz dun ask. :(
27. What time did you wake up today: 6.30 am. Such an unreal time I know. I sat in bed for a couple of minutes utterly blank, wondering y the hell am I awake so early. Then I realized it was training day.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping. I m nt much of an insomniac owl.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for : Getting a paycheck. I hav BIG plans for all d booty. Mwaahhhahhahha… :)
30. Last time you saw your father: umm.. dun rem. :
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: oh, lots of things.. in short, I wish I would hav been different than from wht I am, enuf to still hav Ro in my life.
32. Most visited web page: Blogger, Yahoo, Google, Wikipedia, PlanetSourceCode (lolz), W3Schools

Whats your:
33. Name: Anita
34. Nicknames: Annie, Tina, Ta, Ans, Tweety, Baby, Baccha, Meow, Anu. Recently acquired 'Cindy'. :P :D
35. Zodiac sign: Saggi. *We ROCK!!!*
36. Male or female or transgendered: Female.
37. Elementary: SSC
38. School: HSC
39. Colleges: Sathaye College, VileParle. And thenV.J.T.I Btech Computers. *smirks*
40. Hair color: Auburn
41. Long or short: Crazy Curly Long.
42. Height: 5’2’’
43. Do you have a crush on someone? No. Wait. Yes. Before u get ideas, its jus Ro.
44. Ever been in love? Yes, very much still in love.
45. Piercings? Ears, hopefully navel soon. Lolz.
46. Tattoos? Ahhh…wid pleasure I say.. YES. :) getting another VERY soon.
47. Righty or lefty: Ambidextrous *hehehe*

FIRSTS :
48. First surgery: Yes. Bt I was too little. Dun rem. Had a hole in d heart whn I was jus born.
49. First piercing: Dun Rem. I was in kindergarden I guess.
50. First best friend: MANY! To name a few of dem – all my girlies from VJ, ILMB gals I talk to regularly.
51. First sport you loved: BASKETBALL. Hand down.
52. First pet : Kitttyyyy…:)
53. First vacation: Vac wid family : Rajasthan , wid frnds : Goa. WOOHOO!!!
54. First concert: Sonu Nigam
55. First crush: Rahul. School star athelete. He didn’t even I existed. I was CRAZY abt him for over 4 years. *wrinkles nose wid fond memories..*

RIGHT NOW:
56. Eating: Some bitter tablets for cough
57. Drinking: Cough syrup. Sheesh I m a depressed personality.
58. I'm about to: GOSSIP!!! Lolz. Hey! I m on a grls nyt out.
59. Listening to: Piya Basanti ree… kahe sataye aaja… (hey! Before tht it was playin Somwhere I belong. Dun call me sad!)
60. Waiting for: Some divine power to straighten out my messed up love life…

YOUR FUTURE :
61. Want kids? Of my own or otherwise, VERY MUCH YES!!! I love kids, n they love me. :D
62. Want to get married? Umm.. maybe. Dunno as of now.
63. Careers in mind? Software engineer. Someday, teacher or writer.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
64. Lips or eyes: Both. Eyes to do all d talking and Lips to do all d showing.
65. Hugs or kisses: how about a kiss while ur huggin me? ;)
66. Shorter or taller: Taller
67. Older or Younger: Older
68. Romantic or spontaneous: Both. Depends on d situation.
69. Nice stomach or nice arms: Ahh.. tough choice, bt I think Nice Stomach..
70. Sensitive or loud: Both. Jus lik me. *smiles*
71. Hook-up or relationship: seen and been in both. Both hav their share of fun and troubles.
72. Trouble maker or hesitant: Both. Jus lik me! *smiles again*

HAVE YOU EVER :
73. Kissed a stranger: No. Someone I hardly knew properly - yes.
74. Lost glasses/contacts: I dun hav glasses.
75. Sex on first date: NO. widout a doubt. NO.
76. Broken someone's heart: Regretfully yes.
77. Had your own heart broken: YES! YES! YES!
78. Been arrested: No.. *wide eyed*
79. Turned someone down: No.
80. Cried when someone died: Strangely No. Oh Wait. Movies mein bohot baar. Real life No.
81. Liked a friend that is a girl? Yes. Liked u mean wht??? *wondering*

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
81. Yourself: Sometimes there couldn’t be a bigger loser than me… sometimes no one cud be better than me.
82. Miracles: Not really. Ok wait, I dun count getting 41/100 as miracle. :P
83. God: No.
84. Love at first sight: Yes.
85. Heaven: No. I hav no predefined concepts of life after death 0 heaven hell whtever all tht is.
86. Santa Clause: YES! I still hang out my socks. Hw crazy can I be. Bt Santa has left me toffees evry Christmas.
87. Kiss on the first date? YES.
88. Angels: sort of. Maybe yes. Dunno.
89. Devils: yes ofc. I see her everyday. In my mirror. Lolz.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Ro. Yes.
91. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? YES. Hehehe. I cudnt decide which one I liked better. Bt in my defence I was a kid. I was so immature. :P
92. Wanted to kill someone ever? YES. The terrorists, rapists, molesters, abusers. *&(^^%%$#$@$
93. Among you blog mates, whom would you like to kiss? Wht sort of a question is dat??!!! Lolz.
94. Committed a blunder and regretted later? Yes.
95. Wanted to steal your friend's boyfriend / girlfriend? No. Never.

Associate with someone you know:
96. White: Haw. Once upon a time he was white. Lolz.
97. Black: Ro. He wears it all d time
98. Pink: Me.
99. Red: Mom

100. Posting this as 100 Truths? Yes. Thts me in short for u.

Cheers,
Annie...

P.S. Thanks for d Tag Nikhil. I m not passing the tag to anyone. Since my friends yell at me all day long in college for unnecessarily spamming them wid this stuff. Lolz. So anyone who wants to is free to go ahead and do this.

MY FIRST BLOG AWARD!!!! Yippeee!!!

Hey people... YIPPEEE... my first blog award!!! Awwww.... Thanks you sooooo much Lancelot... :) :P :D.... i m soooooo happy!!!!! :)



I hav been wondering for a long time, wht to write next on my blog that doesnt fall into the category of heartbreak poems/some dhapped TAG's *hehe*/ Pics taken by Karan widout crediting him for it/ news update from VJTI, where time has pretty much stopped... As we can see, i was really short of topics. N here came this award... i m grinning lik an idiot..

Got this from Lancelot's Blog. I hav no idea wht he is like in person.. Though i guess there little to know abt him. he is so vocal abt his greatness.. hehe. he is one true Sagi. Loud, crazy, Narcissistic, amazing writer. :P. in short, for all those who know me, he puts ME at a loss of words, n makes me feels like a 60 year old SLOW person. now try imgaining that!!! THANKS a million for the award... *big warm hug!!!*

Now, i wish to pass on my award to some on the people who hav been AWESOME frnds to me in recent trying times, and also otherwise. :) here we go,

1. Karan - He is the one who intoduced me to blogging. Avid traveller, Railfan, awesoem writer. thanks for getting me here on Blogsville. I still owe u one... :P
2. Mona - My bestttt friend... inspite of all the ups n down's... she is MY rock!! I owe u one poem, and lots of parties.. :) :P AND if u ever gave attention to ur blog, it will get as many hits as Google gets in a day!!! :)
3. Seno - What need i say abt My Guardian Angel??? Ur the bestest!!! she in someone who shoots from the mouth, words coming straight from the heart!!! :)
4. Gargi - According to me, she's the next best thing to watch out for on blogsphere. She is one beauty wid brains!!! :)
5. Appu - She is the ONLY one i can share Edward Cullen with. hehehe.Jokes apart, she is another newbie on blogshere wid a lot of promise. n more importantly, she is a very sweet person!! :)
6. Anu - U deserve dis award cz of all the GREAT, level headed advice i got from u all this while.. THANKS!!! :)

*these ppl dun blog, bt of they ever did it will be an absolute delight!!!*

7. Mrids. - Thanks for taking time out EVERY SINGLE DAY to ask me hw i m doin.. u mean a lot to me... n 'thanks' jus wont be enuf to show u hw much ur words held me thru all the upsn n downs.. :)
8. Shilpa, Moni, Prani *They come in a gang of three for me!!! lolz. :P* - kuch bolna hi baaki nahi hai!!!i guess u alreday know ur very very very important to me. :)

ANNIE....
P.S : Yaayyyyy.... i got an award!!!! :P :) :D

I Wont Love You Any Less...

Its been 2 week since i hav seen u last

Its been a while since u held me in ur arms

Its been jus 2 weeks since u last smiled at me

But it feels lik an eternity, love...

I didnt know it wud be so easy for you to let me go

So easy to slam down the phone and ignore all calls

I didnt know i meant so little to u...so insignificant

when all this while, u said words that said somethng else...

Moving on, u hav left me shattered.. and confused and lost..

So devoid of strength to pick up the scattered myraid peices..

I feel the gaze of a million mocking eyes, saying "wht was she thinking?!"

Ripping to shreds everythng i had worked so hard to build..

I miss the person who had swept me away years ago,

The one who stood waiting for me a whole night,

The one who sang sweet songs to be to ease my troubles

And the one who stayed awake.. jus to watch me sleep..

I saw u the other day with ur friends,

U were smiling and joking abt somethng i dunt know..

Did u knw, tht the breath swooshed out of my lungs,

Leaving an impossible pain in its wake..

To see u so calm and composed, No hint of sadness in ur eyes..

U seemed lik u had moved on already, erased me lik somethng wrong,

I made my way slowly back home tht day, my legs felt leaden

Thinking hard abt where life was taking me.. where was i goin?

I had no answers abt all the "Why's" in my head,

I had no insight on which way to take, or who to talk to,

But something stuck me hard, as i re-read all ur letters,

And cradled all the toys that sat alone inside my cupboard...

I knew ill never be able to forget u so easy,

I knew ill always miss u... no matter hw many miles seperate us,

And i know so true, that I wont love u any less than now..

simply cz ur, n will always be, the best thing that ever happened to me..

~~~~~~~~~~

P.S: Thanks for everything Bubu.

Holi Hai!!!! :)

The pyre burns... with erratic orange sparks flying away..
Spilling yellow light over evrythng tht stands near
Illuminating faces... I can see the fire dancing in their eyes
Old faces weary with the ages, lines deep on their forehead
Young faces, shining in the warm light, smiling toothy smiles...

Its the day the Holika burns..
destroying all tht was bad.. the suffering and the despair..
drinking with it, consuming all that was spite in the world
leaving jus the purity... jus the sancity.. and the smiles..

I watch the ladies with thier incence stickes and earthern lamps
and coins to be thrown... the belief on their brows..
so strong.. n so determined..
The kids dance around the holy light..
They chant prayers as the pyre burns.. cleansing us all..

I still sigh as things crowd my mind..
Y am i still so sad then?
Y can i let go of my troubles?
Y cant i let the holika wash away my pain..
leaving me too, clean and peaceful..

The wood burns with tht strange singeing sound..
The warmth of the blazing fire...seems to seep in..
All the way to the core of my bones.. n my soul..
Urging me to throw away my pain.. To let go of things.
To watch that all I hav to do is try..give it up for a moment..

And watch as they disappear with the twisting buring wood
And watch as the fire pulverizes it into somethng i dont know..
Watch it turn to dust before my eyes... so insignificant...
n feel the burden lift off my shoulders..
Move on in life, towards the light..Smiling..

... Embracing life...

Happy Womens Day!!!!

"She is one of the multitudes, like hundreds and thousands, millions of her kind, she remains largely invisble in our culture"

(The lights do down.. spotlight on some grls dressed up as women.. from diffrent stages in life. school grl, frnd, lover, mom, corporate woman, old woman.. the lights also on me, i m d narrator)

Who is that?
The doer of deeds
The dreamer if dreams
Who makes us believe
Who is that?
Who still wins the day
When the odds are against
& the strength fades away
Shw follows her dreams
Though the journey seems far
From the top of a mountain
She reaches out for a star
& when her job is jone
She gives us hope
She celebrates life

...


She.. Is a Woman.

(Deafening applause. Standing Ovation. The most memorable moment of my school life. Tears in my eyes.)

P.S : This was during my 10th stnd. N heres wishing all the powerful women i hav known a very Happy Womens Day!!! U rock!!!

My Tattoo!!!

A tattoo is something permanent when you've made a self-discovery…
… or something you've come to a conclusion about.
- Angelina Jolie...


Lately I hav been at the lowest times ever of my life.. Actually I m not completely done wid the bad times... I m still struggling with it. But something about this situation has completely altered the way I deal with things. With Life.

I decided to get this Arabic tattoo, which means "Strength of Will" or "Determination" (Angelina Jolie has it, n thts where I got it from), on my right wrist. *yeah I really love Angie, bt tht’s not y I got this!! :P* This tattoo on my right wrist exactly mirrors whts on my left wrist. A faint hairline scar. Most of the people who hav met me, hav seen the scar, but very few hav actually asked me why n when I did it . I hope its out of respect for my privacy.

This tattoo has a very symbolic meaning for me. Both the lines on both my hands represent two of the most difficult and life-altering choices I hav made. The scar on my left wrist was probably the most cowardly decision of my life, and yet I don’t regret it. Wht followed in the aftermath was the most beautiful time of my life, with the most beautiful person ever. I cherish all those times. But since life has a way of coming to a full circle, n leading u on a way u least expect to go, situations always change. Once again, I found myself in a situation where I wanted to get a quick way out, because I didn’t want to face the pain nemore. But this time, *a million thanks to GRL POWER -- Na, shilpa, moni, prani, all ILMB grls* I decided to face it and get the best out of it.

On one hand there is cowardliness and refusal and givin up... On the other I have strength and determination and acceptance. Both representing tough choices and both combined… Making me the person I am. It’s never easy to hide from ur pain… Because u carry it everywhere u go. Some ppl think that the ones who dun show their emotions, are made of stone.. bt are they that whn they face themselves? No. Even in the refusal, I had hellish times.. really tough times. n the tattoo.. it hurts a million times worse to let go of something’s that u want to hold onto. To accept things u need tht sort of will power that trust me, everyone has, bt it requires a lot of inner searching.

I have never, n will not ever, regret the times tht led me to these two choices. everything has taught me something, and now I know wht it is to hit rock bottom and find ur way up again. now whnever I m goin to be facing difficult times, which I m sure there will be many in life, I will look at both hands of the situations. Exactly like my both hands. I will hav two choices.. n I will know wht is the 'right' choice to make.

Annie...

P.S : Wht has happened in the past, was a result of many things put together. Plz dun judge me on the basis of things u don’t know, much less even understand. Allryt? Thanks. Luv u all lots. Mwah!!

P.P.S : I LOVE MY TATTOO!!! YAY!!!! \m/ *i jus CANT stop grinning foolishly.. hehe*

She's my Guardian Angel..

She came into my life jus as a stranger..

From the other coast of the country..

The miles seperated us, but they couldnt stop..

Me from smiling whnever she came online..

The one i loved broke my heart.. and i was shattered..

I cried days on end.. shedding tears of loneliness..

Wishing it to be over soon..

Wishing i could be newher but here..

My heart broke into a million peices..

Scattering everywhere with each breath i took..

It was difficult to move ahead..

Because i was scared to take another step..

She burst through the darkness..

Like the 'hawtest' angel with wings of gold..

She pulled up up, and shook me wid words..

Both loving, soothing.. and sharp..

Till i began to see how much more i could do..

Than jus sit here and brood on wid the past..

She stayed wid me till i felt better..

Till i could smile again, thru the tears..

Thank u god, for sending me my angel..

Thank u angel, for making me see the way..

Thank u angel, for not givin up on me.. lik i gav up on myself..

Thank u angel, bcz u really are the BESTEST!!!

P.S: Dear Angel, u know who u are!! O, Hawest Godess!! The beautiful one wid the Halo!!... Thanks for everything!! I love u lots! Mwah!!!