Rains..

*I wrote this a longgg time back, but i never put it here, cz well, a lot of things i write dont find their way here anyway... it was just one of those things...

anyway, since its raining rain posts all over blogville, here is My Rain Post *

Sights, smells and sounds… those are the things that define memories for me. Memories are the things that I remember with amazing clarity… all it takes is a moment to close my eyes and feel it all over again…

One of my most favorite things in the world is to watch the rains. There was this time when , I used to be the first one out there…drenched to my skin, happy , oblivious to the hardships of life. It was like timeout, u know. Just forget everything. All that matters is the pitter patter of the rain drops… the winds in the background… and the skies the color of molten iron. Somewhere along the way the little girl had to grow up. Now she’s on the other side of the window. Just watching and reminiscing about those days…

Rains.

There’s so much about them that I cant forget….
Memories of carefree childhood.
Memories of first day to school… year after year… of home and being tucked safely under the soft cozy bedcovers… as it poured outside..
Memories of two best friends beginning a ritual of treating each other every time they met (which is like once a year) … that will last forever…
Memories of time with friends discovering the joys of being a college going student…discovering the infinite possibilities of stuff to do when u r free…

And of course…Memories of love.
Memories of being kissed for the very first time… in the light drizzle in the middle of nowhere… a sweet memory of just a peck on the cheek… just as beautiful even after all these years…
Memories of passionate kisses while getting wet in the rain… with someone who disliked the rains as much as I loved them. Feel the odd combination of the cold rain outside and searing heat within…
Memories of being locked up in a small cozy place as it poured outside. Feel the hand slip down the arm, pulling me closer. Can u imagine still feeling the breath tht ruffled your hair even though it happened a lifetime ago?
Memories of crashing waves and rushing winds as we strolled down the bandstand… then seaface…
Memories of the college quad… silent… and the basketball and us…
Memories of dreams coming true… in the world where they still existed.

People moved on. Hearts got broken. Life changes and so do the people who held a special place once upon a time. We all move on. We all have to forget things. Vacuum out the dust to make way for sometime new. Some people are not meant to be together. And some are supposed to be there even though they think they ought to go away. Everything changes. Some of the people who are there as a part of all these memories don’t even exist in my life anymore. Atleast not in the real sense. But they will continue to be there as long as I have these memories.

And even though some hurt me bad… the memories don’t hurt anymore. They are just there… thinking about them is like watching a movie that u have seen before. You know what’s gonna happen and u know that no matter how hard you cry, you cant change the end. Its sort of like that. There will come a time when everything will be worth it and when that day comes, the memories will make u realize that… Sometimes the worst things that happen to you… are actually the best ones… think about it...

Annie.
P.S: The pic is courtesy Arnab, one of my nicest blogger friends. :) And also my Bengali Teacher. So far all I hav learnt is "Kaemon acho?" :P :D

P.P.S: And thanks to Prince Ali too, who told me a long time back that I ought to put this on the blog. :)

Everything Changes

There was a chill in the air that evening. She pulled her overcoat a little closer to her, hugging herself, that cold autumn day. She needed to keep herself for breaking apart... Atleast not in front of him. Her throat ached and her eyes stung. She hadn’t slept a wink in the night and she felt like she would cry any moment.

The lump in her throat turned more painful when she saw him. He stood at the other end of the empty basketball court. Her breath seemed to catch as she saw him. They walked slowly towards each other… A walk that seemed to take forever when all it took for a few ticking seconds. As she started taking the steps she could feel herself changing. Her happy, funny and perpetually laughing mask seemed to be out of the closet. She pushed away the thoughts and the sleepless night and smiled a bright smile.

"Heyya Sweetypie"

He looked at her with eyes filled with a sea of emotions she couldn’t fathom. He looked at her with a desperation she didn’t want to thaw at the cold that settled around her heart. She wouldn’t ever let him see how much she ached on the inside.

"Are u ok?"

No I am anything but ok. She took d basketball and started to dribble away from him. Refusing to meet his eyes. "Yes of course I am you dummy!!! Why do u ask?"

He appeared in front of her out of nowhere, taking advantage of her being so tiny, blocking off her escape. He took d basketball with no difficulty and put it out of her reach, like the way one would do with a child.

"Heyyy..." She frowned. She cussed. He smiled and that nearly drove her crazy.

"Will u talk to me?" He said turning serious again.

She sighed. Resigned and defeated. They turned and walked to d edge of the court. Sitting down on d steps near d court, he began, "Are u upset with me?"

Yes I am. "Of course I m not… What makes you say that?" she said.

He said in a rush, "You wouldn’t pick up my calls... You wouldn’t reply to my messages.. Where have you been?". His eyes seem to burn down to the depths of her soul, willing her to say the truth.

I was hurting... U hurt me. "I was busy"

"So busy, you couldn’t reply back?"

Do I even exist for you? Can you even see how much I love u? "Areee baba... I was tied up all day. I m here now am I not??"

"You aren’t upset about me being with her are u?" He asked with a worried face.

Yes. I m so upset I can feel my heart break. "Nooo... Why would I be? You are happy. And that makes me happy. You crazy idiot!!"

"I love her a lot. She makes me so happy I can’t imagine being with anyone but her. She makes me feel things I didn’t know I could feel again"

A headache seemed to be building up.. tapping away annoyingly at d inside of her temple. Why was she even here? She should have listened to her best friend. She should at home, in her bed, shut away from d world... she should be alone. She felt something die inside her at his every syllable. She just smiled.

He looked away. Smiling foolishly. She wondered what he thought about? What would she be doing right this moment. What will she say when he proposed to her that night. What would she wear? How she would look in d flowing gossamer veil of white at their wedding? Something that felt horribly like tears prickled at the inside of her eyes. His joy seemed to vibrate out of him… touching everything around him. It made her feel like someone had driven a knife all the way down to the deepest corner of her heart.

Everything screamed at her to tell him about what she was feeling.

I love you so much it makes me crazy to think about you with another woman. I have loved you ever since I saw you first day at college. U had looked so wonderful in your white shirt and blue jeans it had made me go crazy. All these years I was your best friend when every single day I wanted to be more. I wanted to be the woman you imagined spending your entire life with.

It took her super human strength to speak.

“I am happy for you Sweetypie.... You deserve the best. She is very lucky she got you, you know.”

He looked at her then, smiling widely, the crow feet at the corner of his eyes. She wanted to look at anywhere but his face.. and yet she couldn’t stop from falling into love. All over again. With those eyes and that foolish smile. No matter what her mind screamed, she couldn’t look away. He came closer, drawing her in a hug. Kissing d top of her head. She allowed herself a few moments more to dream. She inhaled his scent.. of soap, shampoo, cologne and him. She held him tight because she knew maybe this was the last time she was holding him that way. She squeezed her eyes shut, ordering the tears to hold themselves.. just a few moments more.

She mumbled “I love u.. I love u more than she does.”

He laughed. The rich sound echoing in the empty quad. He ruffled her hair and said “Of course you do. I know you do jaan. You'll always be my number one. You know tat, right!!”

They broke apart and he held her still, smiling at her. She smiled at wooden smile, willing herself to get up and leave.

Please make me stay. Please Please hold me once more. “I need to go. Ill seeya later ok?”

He got up too, snatching the ball and putting in a layup. He said “Ok. Ill call u about what happens tonight. Though I know what the answer will be. You get to be my best man ok??!! Hahahaha..”

She could no longer smile.. starting to walk away from him.. the basketball.. college.. He called out, “Oye.. say Bye atleast!! ”

She waved without looking back. Every step she took seemed to put more distance between them than anything else.

As she reached the edge of the court, he called out again, “Nothing changes.. I love u too ok?”

She stopped in her steps and this time she could stop the tears that came. She nodded and waved again. He couldn’t see because he was already on the phone.

She started to walk again. Putting her hands in her pockets, as the breeze started to pick up. As the day started to get colder.

She whispered, “Everything changes.”

P.S: DO NOT DERIVE ANY CONCLUSIONS OUT OF THIS.

Best Match Ever!!!!

21st Jan 2009’ 10.50pm

I have jus returned back from college, having witnessed one of the most spectacular basketball matches ever played in the history of awesome matches in VJTI.

I walked into the quad, very tired from all the dance practice. My exhaustion disappeared the moment I spotted a basketball in the quad. Some guys were playing. I went and put in a few shots that made the guys turn red wid shame. Lolz. Ro came too, n told me he had a match at 6.30. Civil Vs Electronics. Now for all those who aren’t familiar wid any of VJTI happening, Rohit is the Civil Boys team captain. The Tronix guys team consisted of all 3pointer addict guys, so it was going to be a tough fight. On top of all that, Civil Boys were the reigning champions, having bagged gold for last 2 years in a row. N the last years captain Joy (yeah thts his name) had told Ro in no uncertain terms that the title better remained wid Civil this year too. : P

The match started late, like everything in VJ does. We expected a good fight, bt what unfolded before everyone was a complete shocker. Rohit and Jeet so well known for their coordination and amazing 3pointer skills were missing EVERY single shot. The new players were trying very hard to get some points, bt everyone received a jolt when the opposing captain out in three 3pointers in a row. The score was 09-00 with Tronix leading.

Finally Jeet managed to get a 2pointer and opened the innings for Civil. Bang came Tronix reply. They scored another 3pointer. Someone else from Civil scored a 2pointer jus as the 1st quarter ended. The score stood a shameful 12-04 with Tronix leading.
Things didn’t improve much in the next two quarters. The Tronix guys kept leading. With almost 8 - 10 points in the lead, I was beginning to get quite hysterical. “NO Ro.. don’t lose the last match of your life. This is the last chance. Noooo…”

At the beginning of 4th quarter, the score was 25-17. Tronix lead. I stood up to stand on the edge of the court and decided to do some heavy duty sledging. *SLEDGING – term used for abusive remarks thrown by on lookers to players of other team. Wide range of remarks, starting with the normal “I.T. CHAKKA..” to “saala &%^%*^(^$%#^%$”* I started callin the other guys random things like “GAY”, “Ghar pe jaa…mummy ne bulaya hai”, “Tronix Chakka!!!” N guess what.. it worked!!! The guys kept missing their pointers, and finally *OH THANK GODDDD!!!!* Ro managed to score an amazing 3pointer. The score was now 25-20.

One guy resembling Mowgli *as I was yelling out to him… Aei jungle pe jaa vapas* scored a 3pointer, which was a rude shock. The score now was 28-20. It was looking impossible to catch up. Then 0ne female from Civil, Purva, came and we both started yelling like maniacs to the other team. “Saala Gay… ghar pe jaa.” “Tronix Chakka” “Come on Guys… Buck Up” “Areee yeh dekh aya aya aya aya…. MISSS!!!!”I could actually feel the adrenaline rush.

Here the match completely took a turn. Ro, Jeet, Rishi, Nikhil and Vatsal, somehow clicked, and Ro and Jeet scored back to back 3 pointers. I was so PROUD!!! It jus urged me n Purva to yell louder. And ofc we were jumping up and down like a couple of maniacs. 5 minutes remaining. Score was 28-27.

I was so busy yelling spectacular insults to the other team , I don’t rem who scored, bt some scored a 3pointer. YES!! We were FINALLY in d lead. Both teams kept commiting a series of fouls and thus got free shots. And because of our yelling “Aeii… Kuch nahi ata hai. Miss karega Miss Karega… dekh MISS!!!” the other team kept missing, and we kept scoring the free throws. Nikhil commited another foul, and he had to leave. Bimal came in, and ran straight into the other team player, crashing into the board. He commited a foul, bt wtf. We are now soooo close..

Last minute saw some really good 2pointers. The score was 29-32. Jeet scored yet another 2pointer. 44 seconds remaining. Another 3pointer by Ro. Another foul now. Ro gets a free throw. He scores!!! I have gone mad with all the yelling and jumping. Ref blows his whistle. Game over. CIVIL WIN!!!!! 29-44. Just imagine.

The entire crowd pours onto the court. They all gather around Ro and pick him up and throw him in the air. Another group picks up Jeet and another one Bimal. Rishi heads straight for the chairs and collapses. Everyone is yelling. The traditional cry rings out. The one that everyone says, with name variations in VJ- “Tronix’s chi marli. Dhinchak dhinchak.” Some guys even begin with the side slogan “I.T. Chakka!!!” : P

I m sure NOONE in VJTI has ever seen a match so closely lost or so closely won by any dept ever. I m sure no one has seen this amount of sledging ever. Ro kept his word to Joy. The Title was theirs for another year. And nothing in the world beat the feeling of winning the last basketball match of our lives.

- Annie
*throat sore from yelling, tired from dancing and very very happy from all the jumping*

My dream came true on the basketball court.

It was a windy October day. Woke up in the morning with the mother of all headaches. Oh sweet mamma… * that’s why someone very wise has said don’t try to wash down your heartaches with vodka* but, hey, …it was still a nice breezy morning that also happened to be a public holiday. And its also one that I will remember all my life.

There’s something about trains that’s very comforting when your numb from the inside. That noise. It kind of seeps in, you know. After all these days, I may not remember what I was feeling at that time, but I can still distinctly remember the melody of the wheels on the tracks. Atleast till I reach the wrought-iron gates of college.

It is so silent, I can hear the rhythm of my own heart beat. Not a soul in sight. The deserted corridors are silent and the tap of my shoes echoes in the hallway. I make my way to the basketball court.. and that’s where he is waiting. For me. With the basketball that changed our fates a month ago.

There’s another person there as well. One more person with betrayal in his eyes, eyes that I don’t have the strength to meet. He comes and says "goodbye" and leaves. Out of the court and out of my life. It’s just the two of us now.

It had rained the night before. The small puddles of water reflect the sky that has turned grey now. He comes towards me now, slowly… dribbling the basketball…the voice echoes loudly making my heart beat a little quicker. The quad has never felt so huge before. Funny, how I never noticed how beautiful that tree beside the student store was. I can still hear the rustling of those leaves, the only voice in the silence.

And suddenly he was right before me. The dribbling stopped. He tilted my face up with his finger, looked at me with eyes that unique shade of brown and whispered "I love you". I can’t find my voice because I can feel myself floating away. Headier than I had been last night with that vodka… he comes closer…and…

It starts to rain. Just the way I like it. Just the way dreams come true.


P.S: This is entirely true account of how I met my college sweetheart. He was the basketball captain, and I fell in love with him the first time I saw him sail a perfect three pointer from his trademark zero degree. :)