[Part 1
here]
[Part 2
here]
How do we know that "the one" is, the one? Frankly, isn't it all too much pressure? Being a missing piece of a puzzle, magic and stars, confetti in the air et al. I do not believe in "the one". Atleast not in the romantic sense, no. I do believe in having a soulmate. Or many of em' idiots, if you are anything like me. Every single one of those soul sisters / brothers / friends / friends with benefits / ex's / that virtual entity you have never met, but felt a connection to. I truly believe in the magic of finding your own people - ones you can be completely insane & also uncharacteristically sane with.
- -
I was sitting at work, a wee bit tensed about a big presentation I was supposed to make. Ironically, it was supposed to be a "fun" presentation. In the middle of the day, I heard a guy coming out a cabin directly behind me say loud enough for me to hear "
.... Nadal is the best thing that's happening in tennis right now!" Before I could stop myself (dammit woman!) I turned in my chair, to face this complete stranger, and add in what I think was a slightly annoyed voice, "
Please! Nadal will never be Federer."
[Pretty much everyone knows this story, thanks to it being in my wedding card. No kidding, check this. We are awesome like that. Its pretty much the short version of how we got together. Continuing further, is the long version.]
I got back to my work, desperate to finish it within time because I did NOT want to stay back late that day. Earlier that day, this
other guy I had been hanging out with over the last few months, had had flowers delivered to the office. Seriously. This was 2011 and I was getting flowers delivered for me. I was fucking
thrilled. Said guy had formally "asked" me out for dinner that night, and I intended on not carrying my work with me when I met him. After all, this was the first time I was officially going to go out with someone in a long fucking time.
Know how sitcoms and well meaning books and magazines say, that before you find the "one", you have that one last romance that is a total and utter disaster? Yep. This was the one. Little is to be said about aforementioned romance, because it fizzled out soon. It was my second proper relationship, and at the end of it, I was.... really angry! I was so angry that sadness did not kick in for one second, before I wanted to throw something heavy around and break things. Which I think I did. Like what the fuck is wrong with the damn universe?! I was so done with rom-coms, and flowers (cringe), and chocolates and shit. So. Done.
So for a brief few days, I was no heels all sneakers, hair pulled up, barking into faces, getting more work done than ever workaholic. Did not take long for Nutties (tennis guy, for people who haven't yet caught the drift) to ask me over messenger why I looked like I was on a warpath, I said, and I quote, "
Look, I am crazy. I have deep emotional baggage, I apparently drive the men in my life to near madness. I am so DONE with intense relationships, from now on, I declare that I am staying clear off men until I am like 30!"
About 10 months later? Engaged! Another 6 months hence? MARRIED. So much for sweeping declarations, right Marshall
*? :P
*what up smooth HIMYM reference!
~
I have often been asked, why did I marry so young? I have always been told that I am by far the most-likely-to-try-comething-crazy, superbly impulsive, decidedly anti-family and annoyingly bratty wild child. After my previous trysts with romance, I was never too keen on commitment and all that jazz. So why now? Why so soon? Why this guy? What happens next? Why do we seem so perfect? (lol!)
We are not perfect people. Ours is NOT a perfect romance. We both are just so astonishingly different, that sometimes I wonder if this is what makes this work. We have many flaws, and there have been days when we simply cannot stand each other. But then it hits you. Remember all of your flaws that you were left to face all alone once the love of your life walked away? All those flaws that made you desperately wish you could have a do-over? A different kind of life? A whole new universe where none of the horrible things you have gone through that have ended up shaping you, never happened? Your flaws are no longer getting the better of you ... because this guy is with you through it all. This is not just a boyfriend, this is a guy that is so above the rest, that the others before him appear so ridiculously incompetent now. This guy is not just some random dude you are shacking up with, this guy splits the bills, cuddles the cats, watches the matches WITH you. This dude is the real deal. He is, your person.
Anyone who says marriage is easy, is probably not having enough fun. :P Okay kidding. Mine isn't easy. But through it all, here is this guy who has been my rock though so much, that I am an entirely new person. My best friend told me a while ago, that it looked like I had matured overnight. I laughed and said it was the side effect of being in major debt. :P (Buying a house is shit. Don't do it. Live off rent forever.) But its true.
We dance in hallways in the middle of the night. We crack lame jokes and watch sappy TV shows on Sundays in our jammies and eat left over fish curry until we pass out from bliss. We plan trips, we get drunk, ahem-high-cough with friends and party on like we are 16. We bicker like an old married couple of silly things like the laundry or his gazillion socks lying around the home that I like kept neat and tidy. We photograph together, late movies is our thing. He watches his matches and I write. We cuddle with the boys. On some nights, we act like a bunch of kids on a sleepover and talk about utterly random things in the darkness, ranging from religion to parallel universes. This is literally as good as it gets yes?
Nutties has done many amazing things for me - ranging from something simple like flowers to something so symbolic like holding me in the middle of the night, while I was having a mother of all meltdowns, sobbing like an idiot about how life is not working out for me (which it totally is, but I overthink everything!).. and telling me that no matter what, he will always,
always, have my back.
In some ways, this moment perfectly describes us, so in conclusion, I leave you with this.
~ Annie.
P.S.: In short, I should be a case study for marrying ridiculously young, and doing it right. :)
P.S.S.: I have way too many people on my FB so I am not too worried about my name out here. If you are going to add me, do drop a message so I know who you are :P
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Now Playing: Never Let Me Go | Florence & The Machine
