Dec 10, 2010

15 Greatest Guitar Riffs Of All Time

.. in no particular order.

[Disclaimer: You may not agree with me here, and you are most welcome to add to the list, but there is no way you may diss any of these riffs in any way. Doing so will result in me losing all respect for you.]





Smoke on the water - Deep Purple (1973)
One of the most famous riffs in hard rock history, played on a Fender Stratocaster electric guitar by Ritchie Blackmore, immediately joined by hi-hat and drums and electric bass parts before the start of Ian Gillan’s vocal.


Pour some sugar on me - Def Leppard (1987)
Although the band was nearing the end of recording sessions for Hysteria in 1986, producer Mutt Lange felt that the album was still lacking a song that would have an appeal beyond the hard rock fans who had bought Pyromania; that song came to him during a 5 minute coffee break. Now often regarded as the band's signature song.



Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses (1987)
This song is credited as being written by Guns N’ Roses as a band - more specifically it contains Slash’s riff, Izzy’s chords, Axl’s lyrics, and McKagan’s bass line. The subject of the song is generally thought to be lead singer Axl Rose’s then-girlfriend and eventual wife, Erin Everly. Supposedly Slash played the riff in a jam session as a joke. Drummer Steven Adler and Slash were warming up and Slash began to play a “circus” melody while making faces at Steven. Adler asked him to play the riff again, and Izzy Stradlin came in with the chords. Axl became intrigued and started singing the poem he had written.

Nov 30, 2010

Birthday Wishlist v2


I'll be turning 23 (Oh. My. God. I am old.) 5 days from now, and like last year, here is my Birthday Wishlist. The items on this list are what I absolutely desire / totally deserve / or would kill to have. Please note these items are in no specific order and I desire them all equally. The lack of usual "Annie Items" (read: shoes, shoes and well ... more shoes) means that I already have shoes that are spilling over my closet. I mean now that's a dream eh ladies? ;) Oh Lucky Me :D Anyway, moving on, here is my wishlist...  

(Just remember, I'm not much of a demanding person, and I'm very easy to please :D)


Oct 24, 2010

Quicksand


"Beach chale?" I asked. Grinning inwards at the kiddish-restless look on his face. And at the childlike sparkle in his eyes at that sentence. Sometimes looks can be so deceiving - Aint I supposed to be the childish one? And he the mature one?

“Haan haan chalte hai chal.” So there we went, running off to what is the nearest, one of the quietest beaches in Mumbai. Ofcourse Salman made a mockery of the wonderful place with a pathetic song… but sigh. Nevermind. It remains exactly how it was. I remember coming here once with Ro a long long time ago. A lifetime ago - but this visit wasn’t about him. Or me. Or anything concrete infact. It was just… a walk on quicksand. That’s all.

Oct 10, 2010

I hate you.



I inhale deeply, the smell assailing my senses, prickling the inside of my nose, feeling the sharp, putrid smell float down like cold ice down to my once pure lungs. I observe the swirling patterns the white smoke made against the dark canopy of the night sky. It was a starless sky, but then in a place like Mumbai, the street lights & high rise apartments shone brighter than any stars. For as long as I can remember, I think those swirling patterns have always fascinated me – smooth flowing smoke, making love to itself, disappearing into nothingness like the end of a beautiful poetry.

Another cigarette. Another seven minutes of my life, wasted, as those stats say. Wasted? Not quite - wasted would be the last seven months of this thing called life.  Knowing you, being with you. Disappointment. Now that my love, was a waste. This? This was just timeout.  Maybe even getting back to reality, real life for starters. As I saw the street lights shine like little fireflies in the side view mirror, looking at the glowing orange of the lighted tip, I once again thought of you.

Oct 3, 2010

I Wonder...


.... did yesterday remind you of me at all? Did you think of me even for a second? 







And if you did, did you smile when you thought of me?

~Tweety.
P.S: I haven't been able to find the summer triangle since you've been gone. . .
____________________________________________________________
Now Playing: Eyes on fire | Blue Foundation

Sep 15, 2010

50 Totally Awesome, But Sadly Under-Rated Things.

  1. The way the top of a baby's head smells.
  2. A hand written letter.
  3. A totally senseless joke that noone but the right people understand
  4. The one place you always hung out in college.
  5. Holding hands without thinking.
  6. A sincere apology & an unexpected Thank You note.
  7. Old jeans that fit.
  8. Dairy Milk on a gloomy day.
  9. That feeling when your code works.
  10. Kiss on the forehead from someone who matters.

Sep 3, 2010

Annie's List.


Blogsville is filled with lists! As for me.. well, while the concept of making Bucket Lists is  surely interesting, I never got around making one – simply for the reason that if there is one word to describe my life – its unpredictable. I am the most spontaneous person I know and I absolutely LOVE myself that way (I decided to get a tattoo the previous day, and by evening next day my friends were staring at me in awe-horror :P) ... I like the idea of doing something without having already decided to do it sometime before in the past. So now when we are having our meet-ups, my friends go "Hey remember that time when Annie got a tattoo..." It becomes a story, see? :)


Aug 15, 2010

There's magic at sea in Mumbai...



Aug 14, 2010

26th July 2005 - - part 3

(Late post. Sorry folks, office is killing me! & on top of all that, they blocked blogger! ARGH! :| :|)

Read Part 1 & Part 2 first.

Imagine being surrounded by a complete blanket of darkness around you. Add to that, walking/trying-to-keep-your-self-from-drowning in water. Not to mention a middle-aged lady who was... suprisingly fast! I mean dude, you are in water. you are in the dark. & hello? you are like 35!! How can you move that quick???!!!!


So, the situation looked grim. It was like you get halfway through something and then you have the "Uh-oh" moment. We were as far away from Linking Road & from S.V.Road & suddenly it didnt look like a escape route anymore! The water for some reason was rising alarmingly fast, the lady seemed to be getting taller & hop-skipping to safer places. Bhavik was getting scared at how chest high water for the guys meant a literal visarjan for the tiny me *gulp*. Nik looked tense for the first time during the night, we were holding hands really tightly so that we dont lose anyone. Bhavik suggested that they should carry me. My expression was the precise equivalent of "???!!!!" After some delibration the idea was dropped because the water was overpowering whatever we would do anyway. It was safer to hold hands. I distinctly remember slipping once and almost drowning, with my poor heart in my mouth, thrashing around in the water that a freaking eel! After what seemed like forever, we finally noticed that the water seemed calmer (apparently the earlier rushing water was due to some pipe burst + rain + road slope) and seemed to be going down. Finally reached S.V.Road, where the water was indeed lower and thats when Rupesh says, "Erm.. guys.. where is that lady?". We look around & there are very few people around us, and we exchange looks of "wtf happened to her???!!!" Bhavik swore she was ahead of us when we stumbled upon S.V.Road & right now there was no lady in sight...

Aug 1, 2010

26th July 2005 - - part 2

Read Part 1 here.

Four people. Two umbrellas. I was mentally doing a jig, wonder if everyone could hear it. I mean come on!!!! Anyone who stays here in Mumbai knows how romantic the rains are - its grey and windy and there is this slight chill in the air that feels quite nice. I am really short (barely 5 2") and I was walking on the divider, one hand over Nik's shoulder, hunched up under the umbrella. The water was rising, though it was just drizzling.. Our other two friends (Bhavik & Rupesh) were walking behind us, discussing Mechanics - I.(?!)

That month, there was this new newspaper that was breaking into the largely monopolized market of TOI - DNA (haven't heard of that since then actually :P but they did come with a bang..) They had this survey thing, where people wearing boring blue shirts caught you at bustops and stations, asking "Kya aapke paas saath minute hai?". There we were soaking wet, given up on the umbrella, walking with a crowd of people, and Nik, very well known for this stupid PJ's says, "Yeh loh mujhe maarenge na, if I ask them, kya aapke paas saath minute hai?". "If you don't shut up, main tujhe maroongi" I say, giggling nevertheless :P

Jul 27, 2010

26th July 2005 - - part I



Its been five whole years, and yet when I think of it, it makes me smile for some strange reason. Almost everyone I know has a '26th July Story', I do too, and no, its not  something extraordinary.. Its something that happened to a lot of people, that walk back home.. For me, it is one of the awesomest, thrilling times I have ever had., simply because Im sure no other city other than Mumbai would have given me such an experience.... So what happened? Read on... :)
 
26th July 2005'.. 
Just after lunch break, it starts to rain. It isnt pouring, its drizzling steadily, fat drops of water... exactly how I like it. Its starting to get chilly, and my socks feel so warm in my brand new shoes. Its that shade of grey that I really really like outside, but unfortunately I have a book that I really really hate in front of me. Applied Physics - I. Nothing that can ACTUALLY BE applied in real life anyway. Looking up, I watch the teacher drone on about Gauss's Theorem and start to zone off. Mom calls and the vibration thats as good as a ringtone, brings me back to the present. I put it on silent and throw it into my bag. Turn back, bleary eyed, to "...the volume total of all sinks and sources, the volume integral of the divergence, is equal to the net flow across the volume's boundary ..."
---------------------

Jul 26, 2010

To Kill A Mockingbird.


So I have been off-blogging for quite some time now - various reasons, but mostly because  I  have no time and this book review has been pending for a couple of months. I started to write this when I finished reading the book just as Mumbai was biding a barely-concealed happy farewell to the summer. Reading books while on my way to work is fast becoming one of my favorite things! :) Its been a while since I read something that moved me - made me happy, amused, sad and angry - all within the confines of some odd 300 pages. And this one was, to say the very least - a brilliantly written, well deserving 1961 Pulitzer Prize winning masterpiece - and it went right up my favorites list.


Jul 3, 2010

Conversations

"I want to get wet! I want to get wet!"

Then she giggles as I grab her hand and pull her into the rick. Comes close to me and nuzzles against my neck. Kisses me. Looks outside at the pouring rain again and starts grinning like a kid. Sticks her head outside the rickshaw as if there's something wondrous outside. Collects rainwater in her tiny hands and splashes water on me. The same kiddish playful smile writ large across her face. Then remembers that she's tired and settles back with her head on my shoulder, melting in my arms, letting me comfort her. 

Asks me what does that look on my face mean. It's a look of wonder and amazement, a look of "this woman swept her way into my life, captivated my heart, colonized my thoughts, how on earth did all these wonderful things happen to me", a look of trying to take in the pure joy of being there next to her and watching her smile and be happy and enjoy life. It's a look of "God, I love her so so much". And somewhere behind it is the permanent feeling of guilt and self-loathing for the tears I made her cry. I only smile. Pull her closer into my arms.


I love her so very much.


**************


"Come back inside, you will fall sick"

That half amused, half worried look on his face when he tries unsuccessfully to pull me back into the rick. Watching me with a look I cant decipher, maybe its wonder, maybe its amusement, maybe it is something else. Feels I am cold and pulls me into his strong arms, warming me in an instant, making me feel safe and protected in an instant. Removes the strands of my wet hair so gently as if I was made of porcelain, kisses me so soft and so tender like it was a fairytale. Feels the passion building up and pulls me closer by the waist, his warm hands branding my bare skin, every touch telling me I am only his. Kisses me the way a man is supposed to kiss his woman. Leaving me breathless, lost and unaware of anyone, anything but the touch of him, the smell of him, the feeling of his lips on mine. Wraps me in that big hug, and pulls me closer to his chest, so close that I can feel his heartbeat beating in sync with mine. Looking up back at him, and he still has that look, that one look I don't understand.. but it doesn't matter, because those dimples deepen and it fills me up with so much happiness, that I made him smile, I made him happy after a long day at work.

Smile at him and think, he is the reason why everything happened to me before. Everything was planned, orchestrated perfectly by someone, some entity, just so I could end up with him. And that is enough for me to kiss him back and lose myself to him. All over again.

I love him much more than I will ever be able to put in words.



~Annie.
P.S: There is no cure for hopeless romantics... Sigh.
____________________________________________________________
Now Playing: Brighter than sunshine | Aqualung

May 23, 2010

Jerks A-Plenty here! :D


So, just another weekend for me, otherwise known as Missy Meoww to the junta on FaceBook…  Infact, no let me alter that, I was rather sick all week, and what follows here was the only entertainment I had that nicely rounded off a week of boring monotony. So people, give it up for classic example of Im-a-little-boy-who-doesn’t-want-to-grow-up-aka-I’m-a-jerk… *drumroll* :D


Between Arjit Srivastava and You

Missy Meoww May 21 at 7:15pm
do i know u?

[I don’t add people who don’t even bother saying so much as a “Hi” before shooting off that request. Period.]

Arjit Srivastava May 21 at 9:44pm Report
No. What now, huh?

[First thought “Um, creep alert maybe?”... But ok, fair chance, maybe this is some new technique to add people… *blank look*]

Missy Meoww May 22 at 8:04am
er..?


Arjit Srivastava May 22 at 8:11am Report
Er, what?

[Nope sir, creep alert definitely!]

Missy Meoww May 22 at 8:37pm
Excuse me kid, may I remind you that you are the one who added me. :)


Arjit Srivastava May 22 at 9:30pm Report
Kid? Oh, excuse me, aunty... I just wanted to tell you that I liked your blog. But, I guess I've been interacting with someone who is actually retarded to get her basics right. Anyway, you may reject the request, as if I care! Liked your simple blog posts.


[Ok what? No seriously? Wow this IS some new technique!]



Missy Meoww May 22 at 10:09pm
There is a better way than randomly adding people you know? and scroll up and see your "No. What now huh?" hardly sounds mature! (creepy if I may add) if you had anything to say at all, a simple one liner would be better than appearing like one of the random requests on internet right? That would make you sound more like a thoughtful blogger and less like a kid, who infact hasn't got HIS basics right. well but that's just my opinion. Welcome to have your own :)


Arjit Srivastava May 22 at 10:18pm Report
Someone with their profile name as "Missy Meoww" and a stupid cartoon DP is talking about maturity level? Grow up, kid. I fucking don't blog for you. And I don't care if you've some serious problem with your basics! AND RANDOM? Bwahahahaha! =)) No one is "random." Nothing is "random." It's a word you use when you're too stupid to think of other words to describe. Random is a moronic word and the people who use it should die of the plague. You (hell, everyone) should read more so you'll have better adjectives than "random." :)

Have a great night.

[Wow. Issues. BIGTIME.]

Missy Meoww May 22 at 10:30pm
Ugh. and you think using profanities makes you sound mature? wow. If THAT is how you see maturity level, then seriously, you have issues. and btw, my profile name and my DP has been the same even when you added me... Temporary slip on your "basics" then eh? Lets not even talk about how much I read, because judging by your vocabulary or lack of it rather, I think I'm doing way better. Go rant elsewhere kid, I aint got no time for whiney prats like yourself.



[Starting to realize why FaceBook provides a "Report" button..]


Arjit Srivastava May 22 at 10:34pm Report
I hate to end it this way - but, I am sorry. Also, I am sorry for my vocabulary - Fuck off, dear asshole. You're done! :)


["You're done"?... matlab kya? "Im done with you" samjha "You are done with me" bhi samjha... "You're done" kya hota hai???!!! who the heck says that!!! 

Howling with laughter at the sheer stupidity of the guy...was so busy laughing, forgot to ask him what he meant by the grand closing line :P]


I have deliberately not blanked out the guys name, one because I have no idea if he really blogs(?), its a pity if he actually does, and two because nothing is more pitiable than a guy who doesn’t know how to talk to women. I mean honestly dude, what are you like FIVE?!


What did I understand out of this amusing although time-consuming exercise? It was that..

"Some men are living proof that women can take a joke!"

Quite some entertaining weekend I had eh? So how was yours? :)


~Annie.
P.S: Girls, we all know what we should do with jerks right? *evil grin*
________________________________________________________________________
 Now Playing: Mora Piya | Rajneeti

May 16, 2010

Er.. Um.. OK! :)



"I miss you more than I miss internet. And I feel like a fish out of water when there is no internet! :( *end of stupid but hopefully sweet metaphor* "


.. a very geeky miss you message for a geeky girl, eh?


*amused smile*


__________________________________________________________________________
Now Playing: Tonight | FM Static

May 6, 2010

A Mask.


She wears a mask
Bright yellow sunshine smiles and laughter
Everyday
Tough girl who will never cry
As strong on the outside
As weak on the inside.


She is the master actress
Hiding bruises and cuts
Bitterness and regret
A beautiful mask of pretense
Smartly makeup-ed
Leaving nothing to be seen by the people of the world




A mask she proudly wears
Wont let anyone see through the act
Scared and lost though she will never show
Just a girl at the end of the day
In the hope that
Somewhere her soul is still alive



Close to sharing her soul with him
But stopped short, because
Wont ever reveal all of her to anyone ever
Not even while in that one pair of strong arms
He doesn't know, She keeps a secret
That there





In his arms
Her mask falls away.



~ Annie. 
P.S: For you.
___________________________________________________

Now Playing: The Drummer Goes Berserk | The Velveteen

May 5, 2010

Hey you..






I am a writer.. Its supposed to be easy for me to put my thoughts into words. It should be easy for me to tell you how much you mean to me. What you make me feel...

But I cant. ... Maybe someday.. Someday I will overcome my own doubts and I will find the courage to tell you... 

Instead I borrow words from one of the most amazing writers I have ever come across, even though most people think of him as just a musician...


"Continue to love me..
never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.. 
Ever thine.. 
Ever mine.. 
Ever ours. "
(Ludwig van Beethoven) 


~Annie.

P.S: Picture by moi. Cute na? :)
__________________________________________________________________
Now Playing: Inside Out | Bryan Adams

Apr 17, 2010

In Loving Memory.

I once thought of you and me as two people trapped in a room full of people, looking for someone to fill something that was missing in our lives. Something that one found in the other. And then there was this glass wall between us that can’t be broken because .. it was just there.  Maybe because we didn’t try. To say that the love wasn’t enough would be an insult to what we had. No matter what, the glass wall was bigger than the two people longing for each other on either side. And we were but, two people forever fated to watch. And wish.

And now, I see you disappearing into the crowd, away, never to be found again, and it hits me with a force of a million bricks. The fact that I can’t lose myself into the crowd, because always, always, I will keep coming back to this place where I saw you last. Because I will keep returning, hoping to find you here. Hoping to see you behind the glass wall, still away from touching you. But seeing you. The thin thread that keeps me from going insane. Your face. The familiarity of your face and your eyes. I will keep coming back to this place, just in the hope that you will miss me as much as I miss you.

Remember that one walk we once took down Colaba Causeway? When I saw those crystal stones I fell in love with, and we found one that looked so seamless it was like it wasn’t broken. But it was, the perfect sphere breaking open revealing a beautiful crystal world inside it? And how the pieces fit so perfectly together, it was like they were made for each other. That was you, as you were, you are, for me. Like you will always be. Completing me.

They all say time heals everything. But maybe I don’t want to be healed. Because with you, even your memories, I feel substance in my existence. I feel alive again, albeit just for brief sporadic moments. In those moments, I feel emotions. I feel happy thinking about the invisible dimple in your stubborn stubble. I feel myself smiling thinking about the exact shade of my pink and blue dress, and how you watched me across the corridor, the morning sunlight casting shadows of those pillars in our way, and how you walked to me, slowly, never taking your eyes off me. I feel bitter regret and pain, thinking of the last time I saw you. And I feel cold rage about the last promise you broke. Of never breaking my heart again. But feeling things I feel nowhere else but with memories of you, is like coming back to life. Maybe in the worst possible way, but still, coming back. Like I was, a long long time before.

Maybe days, Maybe months. Maybe even years. I don’t know how long this ache will last. I don’t know how long it will be before I’m ready to say goodbye to you. I don’t know at what point of time I can finally bring myself to say that I’m done, mindlessly meandering among the memories of you.

There is a piece of my heart that is missing. That has been missing since the day you left. That is the part of me that will always belong to you. Across seas and stars of the heaven, always, forever yours. No other man will ever fill that space with his love, maybe only wonder what was it that once lay there, completing that heart of mine. Seeing nothing but a shadow of how deep I'm capable of loving someone. That love, bordering on the edge of sweet obsession, will always belong to you.

Without you, I find myself staying awake some nights, watch shadows chase themselves over the ceilings, dark shadows against the blue light falling across the ceiling. Without you, the ache of your remembrance nearly kills me.

Without you I am breathing, sustaining my life, walking about, following the monotony, so that no one suspects what’s missing. Without you, I exist, because my presence here is required in this social fabric called society.


I am, though I really am not.





Without you, my love, I simply exist.
With you, I live life.




~ Annie.
___________________________________________________________
Now listening to: In loving Memory | AlterBridge 

Apr 6, 2010



When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part.

Mar 29, 2010

If I were ....


Saw this one on Harini's Blog, and simply couldn't resist doing it myself... :)

If I were a month, I’d be June.

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Saturday.

If I were a time of day, I’d be 02:47AM.


If I were a season.....
..... I’d be the Mumbai Monsoon.



If I were a planet, I’d be Neptune.

If I were a animal,
I’d be the tigress.

If I were a direction, I’d be west.

If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a cozy white love seat in a certain room of my dreams...



If I were a liquid,
..... I’d be Cold Coffee. Exactly like the one they have at Ruia :)


If I were a tree,
....I’d be a Maple in the Autumn.


If I were a tool,

....I’d be the razor sharp knife.


If I were a flower,
....I’d be a bunch of white calla lilies.


If I were an element,
....I’d be crackling fire.


If I were a gemstone,
... I’d be a solitaire on a platinum ring.

If I were a kind of weather, I’d be the slow downpour with a cool breeze and lots of *SIGH* moments.



If I were a musical instrument, I’d be Zana. *That's her up here :)*
If I were a color, I’d be Black.


If I were an emotion, I’d be Passion.

If I were a fruit,
....I’d be an Orange.

If I were a car,
.... I’d be a black Porsche Carrera GT.



If I were a food,
....I’d be prawns fry. :)


If I were a taste, I’d be tangy.

If I were a sound, I’d be the sound of flowing water in the quiet of the forest.

If I were a scent, I'd be the smell of the first rain on the hot ground.

If I were a material,
....... I’d be chiffon.

If I were an object,I'd be....
 :D


If I were a song,

 .....I’d be 'Iris'.

If I were a body part,

........ I’d be the eyes.

If I were a place,
...I’d be Mumbai.


If I were a facial expression,
 ....I’d be a gaze.

If I were a pair of shoes,
.....I’d be a pair of black knee boots.



Lovely tag, had fun doing it. You should too! :)

~Annie.



P.S: Blog turned two on 24th March 2010' ... Didnt celebrate like last year, was working crazy all day, didnt even find the time to write a tiny post :( But Im glad it stuck it out for two whole freaking years! YAY! :)

Mar 16, 2010

Hello.


Do you know what it means to be... invisible?

You are nothing more than a stray fleck of dust in the evening wind. Nothing more than a tiny grain of salt in the never ending blue expanse of the ocean. Not even a face in a crowd, because no one acknowledges your presence at all. You are, but a body that amounts to nothing.

She stood in front of the mirror, watching herself. Criticizing herself. The dull lank hair framing a plain uninteresting face. Inappropriately shaped, not too tall. Not beautiful, not ugly. Just plain. Pathetically plain. Noone would give her a second glance.

Unable to fathom why she was put on this planet. What was the purpose of this life? If it didn’t matter to anyone at all, wouldn’t it be simpler to jerk the plug off it? Wouldn’t it get some attention afterall? Someone. Anyone.

She took the mirror down from the wall, watching her reflection. She stood with it for a long moment in her hands, and then threw it across the room in one fluid motion, breaking it into a myriad irregular pieces.

Now there were many people in the room. But they all looked the same.

They all looked like her.



*****************************************************


He saw her everyday. Everyday at 11.01 AM they both stepped into the same train which took them downtown for work. Everyday they went their separate ways after half an hours ride.

Sometimes a black overcoat. Sometimes long dark hair falling forward framing the heart shaped face. Sometimes held back together with the stubborn band. Sometimes with the backpack, sometimes without it. Sometimes with the white umbrella. Sometimes she would read 'Love in the Time of Cholera' yet again, lovingly smoothing out the yellowing pages of the old book as she read. Sometimes she would just sit there stare out of the window, not looking at anything in particular. She just sat there sometimes, and watched as the landscape changed with the rhythmic clank of the wheels on the tracks.

But always, always, that grey of her eyes that made his heart skip a bit. Every single time.


Dear God.. she was beautiful..


*****************************************************


She lay there in the dark, watching the shadows chase patterns over the ceiling. Thoughts chased themselves around in her head over the incessant babble of voices that just wont shut up. She had lost count of the amount of times she tried to shut the voices out, craving one moment of peace, just one millisecond of relief. But they never went away.


Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello


Sometimes loneliness opens up such a deep valley of nothingness on the inside of you, that it doesn’t matter what happens to the outside of you. The scars that left their criss-cross lines on her flesh, weaving an intricate beautiful web of silver, were nothing but reminders of the sad non-existence she lived. Tattoos that told better stories.

She drew the razor sharp shard of the broken mirror across her wrist. She didn’t feel a thing. Except for that slight tinge, that curious burning sensation where the edge of the glass kissed her flesh. Tiny drops of crimson blossomed over the stark white.

Just another night. Just another lonely night. Maybe if she was lucky it would be her last.


If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello
I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry


Maybe.

*****************************************************


He stood waiting at the same spot he stood everyday, at the foot of the stairs.

It was chilly today. He knew she would wear her black coat today. She would come everyday and take the same train with him, just as she had for the last seventeen months. Like always she would go take a seat across him, and never know that he spent the next half hour watching her. Knowing her in the best half hour of his entire day.

Today was the day he would finally talk to the pretty grey eyed girl. Just hear what she sounded like. Maybe someday he would gather enough courage to tell her just how pretty she looked with her hair down. Someday.

It was 10.59 AM. The train pulled into the station as always. He looked up the stairs as always. Moments that held eternities in them passed and the train pulled out of the station. Like always.


He stood there confused. She didn’t come.
That day she didn’t.




She never came for the 11.01 AM train again.



~ Annie.

P.S: There is ALWAYS someone who loves us more than we know it to be possible. Even if it’s not the person you were hoping for...

Feb 24, 2010

Lurkers.


They had appeared out of nowhere. She was walking home after a long day at work, earphones plugged into her ears. She reached for her cell to change the song and with that beat of silence in her ears, she heard that low guttural laugh behind her. She didnt need to look behind to know who they were. They were them, the lurkers.

She quickened her pace a bit, as much as those stilettos would allow her to. She snuck a glance over her shoulder and felt her heart start to hammer in her chest. She saw them, all of them, trying to be discreet and start to follow her. But the way they fixed their beady eyes on her, gave them away. She looked ahead, almost stumbling over a crack in the concrete as she tried to consider her options. Dont panic, they will know you know. Just a few minutes, and you will be home.

A part of her screamed for her to run like the devil was on her heels. She dared one more glance over her shoulder and this time she saw their hungry, insane grins. No time like now to run she decided. But little did she know that she was too late. One of them was already heading for her, clutching his weapon in hands by his side. She was just too late..














SPLASH!

She stood soaked head to toe. Thanks to the waterballon the 12year old threw.


~ Annie.
P.S: I've got Satans kids living in my building, I swear :|

Feb 21, 2010

....

I am so busy these days I think one of these days I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. *sad face* I have been running around ALL week at office, then at home with mom not well, and then these CAT classes.... my god! They have taken over my entire weekend..!!! Can anyone who even remotely knows me believe me if I told them there is a SALE ten blocks away from my home and IM NOT IN IT!!!!!!! *wails loudly* Someone please please give me an extra hour in my day everyday please please! :( :(

So here are the geeky updates: (Im geeky. Deal. With. It.)
1. Visual Studio 2010 is the best thing that ever happened to me. No wait, its the best thing that ever happened to the entire developing world.
2. Microsoft has nullfied ALL of its sins (ex: pathetic stuff like Vista) by introducing the sheer GENIUS called Microsoft Silverlight. I mean all I can say is W-O-W! :O And this is the reason why I dont mind staying back late in office and playing around with buttons and grids :P :D
3. IE Developer Toolbar is cool. Must check out for all those who develop on IE (if at all :P)
4. Whoever has my SQL Server 2005 CD -- GIVE IT BACK NOW! else I will kill you. Yes Im a mad crazy woman who kills people when they dont return back CD's :P (Ok that smiley totally spoiled it I know )
5. I still find 3GB RAM insufficient. Sheesh. *rolls eyes*

Ya, so back to non-geeky stuff.. The weeks been crazy hectic as we already know...

And I have a lot of stuff lined up for tomorrow. *SIGH*
And I started to write 3 different stories (mush, non mush and scary :P -- A wants a romance, AM wants a thriller and Me wants SOMETHING. ANYTHING! :P) at 3 different times of the weekend and never got around even a para past any of them, making me feel like a totally useless idiot.
And I got into a rather interesting argument with a stupid Brit female over whether or not Jack and Rose (of the Titanic fame) were real or not. Seriously?! Are ALL firangs stupid and have pea sized brains?! :P
And Im in the process of reading 3 different books (none of which Im supposed to be reading for that CAT class :P) and enjoying them all -- The Hobbit (For all LOTR/ Fantasy/Magic fiction fans. Its awesome so far!) , The greatest works of Kahlil Gibran (Gifted this to myself on Vday :P How romantic am I?! :P), Stealing the Network - How to own a box (GEEKY. Computers. Hacking. SUPERRR COOOL!!! :P)

And that leaves my last but not the least, my super update of the week :) *drumroll*

So, my books finally arrived in the mail :) No baba, not yet another book Im reading. :P Let me tell you from the start :P

So remember that post where I ended with "You have got mail" That mail was something like "Dear Icemaiden, *some tareef* blah blah... *some more tareef* ... Would you be interested in writing for a book? -" (I stopped reading after that :P) And I went like WHAT?! :O :O OMG! This is like my dream come true!!!! OMG OMG OMG! So after a lot of those OMG's and around 5 months later I finally have the brand new "Chicken Soup for the Indian Romantic Soul" in my hand with one of MY stories IN IT! OMG OMG! *ok I have GOT to stop doing that! :P*




I feel incredible enough to give one of those Thank You for the Oscar speeches so here goes -- All my wonderful friends who have stayed with me since the beginning of my blog, this wouldnt have been possible without you guys. Love you all a LOT and I cant express how thankful Im that I have WhiteLilyz. If I wouldnt have been for this space, and you guys who make me want to write every weekend, I would have gone ...er.. nuttier than I already am now :P :) Thanks for listening to all those rants (much like this one) and all those random posts and all those mushy silly lovey dovey posts and all those heartbreaking ones too! :) You guys rock! :) .... Yes and I want world peace too *collapses into silly giggles* :P

See you guys next weekend. Nitey Nite. Have a nice weekend! :)

Cheers,
Annie.
P.S: It feels INCREDIBLE to see your name in print :) Check out for 'Making Space -- Annie' in the 'Lessons in Love' section :)

Feb 18, 2010

Let me...



Let me be the last gold of skylight before it disappears over the horizon...
Let me be the feeling of the the first drops of rain on your fingertips...
Let me be the hidden treasures of love in the sepia-toned photographs...
Let me be the shared chocolate chip icecream on the slow walk back home...
Let me be the glistening tear that rolls down your cheek, all alone...
Let me be the brightest star that pins up the twilight cloak of your evenings...
Let me be the first cold wave that wets your eager toes...
Let me be the grass soaked in the morning dew that tickles your feet...
Let me be the bright blue behind that sea of white in your cloudy day...
Let me be the warmth of a crackling fire that heats up your face on a winter day...
Let me be the gentleness of a lovers first kiss... to be remembered for eternity...
Let me be the everything that gives meaning to your nothing...




~Annie.

P.S: Random :)

Feb 14, 2010

Somedays....

There are days when suddenly, out of the blue, I think of you. Your face seems so clear, every expression.. every line on your face, like I saw you just yesterday... It haunts me, hurts me... And suddenly like a person drowning, I want to get away.... Involving myself in something...anything.. so that I wont have to think of you anymore... And it works.. Most days...

Somedays its different.. Sometimes I want to lose myself.. In the past.. In your memories.. because that's the only place I see you that clear... I remember small things, I thought I had lost them all.. Those memories, somewhere beneath all that fighting and crying... But no.. They are still there.. I see them so clear... I see you as clear as yesterday sometimes...

Somedays that ache gets so painful... and yet so sweet... It hurts me, and I make no moves to get busy, to get away... I don't know why I don't do it, when it can take something as simple as a walk outside to get away.. Somedays I just.. linger..

Somedays, my player starts playing those songs, that will always always remind me of you... and I hurriedly change them away, not wanting to meet you in those words and that music... and the memories we made with those songs... And then I forget all about it, with a new song, a new beat..

And somedays I stay up late into the night, listening to those very songs on repeat... Its the exact same feeling of cutting yourself over and over again.. at the same place... and not feeling anything... because the pain on the inside eclipses the pain on the outside... Again and again... And I would know how that feels right?

Sitting at my window, wearing one of the last few things that will always carry the smell of you... You remember dont you? Somedays I cant stand the sight of it hanging by that hook in my cupboard, and somedays, those really cold days, I hang on to it like it was my last remaining fiber of sanity.

Somedays I manage to hate you so much... hating the thought of you.. the years I spent with you... Hating the coward you were.. and the fool I was... Hating that right this moment you are happy and Im not... And that I tried so fucking hard... SO fucking hard... And I couldnt change a thing...

Somedays I am a blank... lost.. confused... wishing desperately for some light... some way... Somedays I want to ask you questions... Somedays I don't want to hear any answers...

Somedays I think of those little things... Chancing upon a card or a wrapper... Somedays I throw it out, feeling nothing at all... Cold and heartless... Like a stone... Somedays I stand with it in my hand for a long time.. and then stuff it back to where I found it... Not feeling anything other than a strange void that suddenly opens up... And some days it makes me cry a bit. I hate that lump in my throat.

Somedays I cry without any reason... Not because I miss you... Not because I think of you.. Some of those times, you aren't even on my mind... Somedays I cry because I feel so fucking empty... A blank. A Void..

Somedays I want to go talk to that guy and tell him I love him. And then I stop and say to myself, how stupid can I be? Love isn't meant for me is it?

Some people are meant to be alone. Always.

~Annie.
P.S: A broken heart is so damn hard to mend....

Feb 10, 2010

Happy Birthday Duffer! :D

Ok so.. Im super mad at someone right now... But then we are in a tricky situation.. Its that idiots Bday aaj... And all things said and done, the stupid duffer still remains one of my friends... So here it is... A Bday Wish for MM,


Happy Birthday Nik.... Hope thodi akal aa jaye... Itne saal ho gaye... Ab toh aa hi jaani chahiye :P Ok Ok jokes apart... Lets try again... :P



Happy Birthday Nikhil, Wish you all the wonderful beautiful things in life (bada sa bangla, badi si car, sunder si ladki etc etc ... you get the drift right?! :P) Hoping this birthday marks the beginning of a wonder year for you, filled with success and happiness :)


And since I couldnt be there, here is the next best thing :D



Enjoy your day...!

Luv,

Annie.

P.S: I AM STILL MAD AT YOU! :

Feb 7, 2010

Lies


A dance of the vowels and consonants,
Perfectly placed, just the right amount of mush,
Articulated so well, a bitter disguise,
My inbox is full of your lies.


Faking sincerities, it’s all a facade,
Words in a twelve point Arial,
Signed with the sickly sweet "XOXO"
Hugs and Kisses so out of place.


Spell-checked and every dot perfect,
Seduction with grammar, cheap and dishonest,
Each time I read your letters,
My mind reverberates with the sound of your lies.


You think you have it all going your way,
But honey this time, you couldn’t be more wrong
It’s a wrong girl you picked to mess with this time,
And it’s now payback time for all those lies.


Forward, Honey, I forward,
Everything to the woman who wears your ring,
Enough of your deception now let me watch,
As your punctuated lies destroy your everything.




~Annie.




P.S: Next time you decide to patao someone online, remember there could be a potential disadvantage.. Electronic content cant ever be erased, it persists for ever... and also of course, you could be dealing with a crazed vindictive woman like me :D *evil laugh*

Feb 3, 2010

Colors.

Ok so thanks to AD here, I chanced upon this contest at The Colors Magazine for their new Show Your Best Contest. It is a series of contest looking for the Best Blog Post of the month. At the end of the year, the best post of the year will be chosen from the 12 monthly winners. Monthly winners will have their blog reviewed on The Colors Magazine site. And since I have turned into a weekend *lately not even that* blogger, with client visits, LOTS of work, and studies too *sniff sniff* :( I thought why not.. Chalo so Im entering my best for the month, *which happens to be the only sensible post actually for Jan .. hehe*

.... so when are you submitting yours? :)

See you guys around, take care :)
Annie.

Jan 26, 2010

I Hate you.
Wont talk to you.
Will kick you if you show up in front of me.
Think you are a big stupid ass.
*Glare* at you.

But God how I miss you.

Jan 16, 2010

Mwah Shilps! :)

No matter what I write about you and the times I spent with you, nothing, NOTHING, will come close to telling you what you mean to me. Im sooooooooooooooo happy that you will be starting a new life in a new city (TRUST ME Hyd is awesome!!! And the sights... ufff kya batao!!! *wink wink*) and at the same times Im million times more sad that you are going to go away from us all...

The time I spent with you... laughing mostly... and some of it crying and some more of it fighting... I will always always remember it. When I sit to think of the three years that I spent with you, there are so many memories that crowd my mind.. All the times that bring a smile to my face instantly, making me thank the big guy up there, for blessing me with a friend like you.

I remember how we all came together, you, moni, pranita, varu and me... strangely beginning in the LR (Ladies Room) of all places!! How many times we have sat there, completing assignments, laughing about teachers, talking about crushes and boyfriends (apne AND doosro ke... hehehehe!)... and omg!! taking those million pics!!!! :) :) :)

I remember how we formulated our "MOM" theory... talking about the eccentricities of our respective mom's.. Hehehe!!! The MOM Theory of our girl gang was that all moms in the world refered some common hidden book in the world. The book had all the same theories that moms uncannily seemed to follow (for example -- "If your friend (who i have seen with my own eyes) is not going for that outing, you are not allowed", "Any guy who calls you after 10.00 PM is a 'bigda' hua ladka!")and they all referred the same dialogues -- ("haaaannn.... yeh toh guesthouse refering to home) hai!!!! mann aata hai tab aati hai... mi tar molkarin aahe na! ('Im just a maid' in marathi)" .... "Once I say NO it means NO!"... "Friends ke liye tere pass time hai... Mere liye nahi hai!!! (tragic voice)" And even if we were not allowed for those outings, or we had to invent some seriously crazy code names for the bigde hue ladke who called after 10.00PM... we found a way to laugh about it all... And my god! Do I miss that wonderful laughter! :)

Shimla-Manali trip was the best time of my life, with the SHOT gang and the crazy antics we did... The people we troubled in the trains, the masti with did our RR Gang... Remember how Karthik sprayed his deo at us when we yelled "shot diya shot diya" complete with mawali steps on the train, and yelled back "baas maara baas maara" :D :D You, Prani, Moni, Sari, Varu had the best time, in the snow, shooting snowballs at the "others" :D having CRAZYYYYY photoshoots where we pretended to be models in demand :P which we actually are anyway :P hehehhee!!! Rem how we were singing songs while we on on those horses with weird haircuts, how we ran around in the Manali hotel pretending to be ghosts (with a seriously BAD sense of humor!!), troubling couples, talking about the future late in the night and then finally saying "Abe yaar yeh sab kya SHOT hai... chalo CID dekhte hai!" ... Life was so wondeful with a friend like you.

Naintal trip was the icing on the cake, with the vodka party and the Danger Duckies... Then the jeep ride in Jim Corbett where all we saw were elephants :P, then coming and playing sakhli on the hotel grounds :D.. I remember getting scared out of my wits when we heard that sudden knock on the door in the dead of the night, with the lights all gone, and weird sounding rasping from the other side... and the GENIUSES that we are.. we carry PILLOWS as shields!!! and go open the door to not a ghost but Gul!!! Ofc no ghost would have hair THAT long! :P the gossip-cum-what happens in the future sessions in the middle of the night where Gul wanted to open the windows because "the insects will be sleeping anyway" :D

Sharing dabba in the canteen, sitting in the quad, hanging out in the LR of all places possible, bunking lects, sitting for lects and throwing paper balls, fighting with mad people in exam dept, going crazy about Salman :P (of Dance India Dance fame), enjoying every fest of college with crazy screaming... You made college a LOT awesomer than before! :) You are one of the few people who make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have friends like you guys! :)

All the best for whatever you do (Im TELLING you .NET is awesome! :P JAVA SUCKS!) And hope you find happiness where you are (If you find extra tall dark handsome from down there, send me ASAP! :P) and Ill misssss youuu!!!!! Now who will tell Pranita with me "Nice try huh, Nice try! " :( and who will tell her "Annie tak pohochne ke liye tujhe mere paise guzarna padega" I'll miss you babe!!!


Love you LOTS!,
Proud SHOT gang member,
Annie. :)

Jan 10, 2010

A Thousand Splendid Suns.

I wrote a review a very long time back for the college magazine about my favorite book - A Thousand Splendid suns. If you haven't yet read the book then go and read it NOW! Now, I'm hardly the expert of reviews, because this happens to be the only one I have ever written :P so I'm not exactly sure how long it is supposed to be. But anyways, hope you guys like it. Here goes :


"Khaled Hosseini's 2003 novel "The Kite Runner" arrived at the perfect post-9/11 moment, bringing into glaring spotlight the suddenly notorious Islamic nation of Afghanistan & then slowly weaved a rich, deeply affecting & painfully heart wrenching story that spoke of friendship, treachery, Taliban cruelty, and redemption. Next, Hosseini presents before us, a heart breaking follow-up “A Thousand Splendid Suns", set once again against the backdrop of recent violence of Afghanistan, which literally reveals the bruises beneath the burqa.


“The Kite Runner” got off a gripping start & later stumbled into sentimentality. Like a stark contrast “A Thousand Splendid Suns,” starts off subtly, slowing unfurling, progressively gaining speed & emotional power. Hosseini who was born in Kabul and moved to the United States in 1980,is a gifted storyteller who creates characters deftly, colored with simplicity & rudimentary boldfaced emotions, intertwined expertly with melodramatic plot lines. The story gives an intimate look at a nation that is torn apart by war, in a way that speaks to a vast majority of the world's readers. Because inspite of his writing being vivid & descriptive, it remains balanced & shockingly real, which gives you a distinct feeling that you are right there watching it all happen.


A Thousand Splendid Suns offers a harrowing insight into the lives of Afghan women spanning over the last 3 decades, alternating between the points of view of the two main protagonists of the story – Mariam & Laila, who are women born into very different circumstances. The story set primarily in Kabul starts in 1964 with a five-year-old Mariam, & finally ends in 2003, spanning over the Russian invasion of Afghanistan, the defeat and withdrawal of the Russians that led to the warlords in-fighting, followed by the rise of the Taliban, and ends with the beginning of democratic rule.


Mariam is the abandoned illegitimate daughter, result of a wealthy businessman’s sexual dalliance with a washerwoman. At 15, curious about the outside world, & the remainder of her blood ties, she decides to take her life’s course into her own hands… & it isn’t one she always desired. Her mother commits suicide and she is forced to marry Rasheed, a shoemaker in Kabul, who apart from being 3 times her age, is a coarse, lecherous and violent man who effectively turns Mariam’s already disheveled life into a living hell. Hossieni reveals how Mariam’s destiny is taken from her hands in a casual, almost impassive way, which gives an insight to his natural storytelling talents, pulling the readers heartstrings in just the right way.


The life of the novel’s other heroine, Laila, takes an even sharper trajectory toward ruin. Though she is the cherished daughter of an intellectual, Laila finds her life shattered when first her brothers fall martyr for the country, & then a rocket —a result of the mujahideen running riot in the country— lands on her house and kills her parents. Alone in a war torn country, half deaf by a bomb blast & terrified that she is pregnant by her childhood sweetheart Tariq, who has already left Afghanistan, Laila is forced to take cover with Rasheed and his wife. Soon her life starts to resemble the one that countless Afghan women live each day, & she finds herself, at 14, Rasheed’s new wife.


There is no joy in this grotesque union, only humiliation & servitude, but the slow-growing friendship between the 2 women, against all expectations, sustains and transforms them over the increasingly gruesome years that come. The romantic twists in the story may seem fairytale-like but all in all the story remains a sadly accurate version of what many Afghan women have experienced.


At its best, the novel is a view into all the big events of Afghan history, through a veil: daily mundane household chores, the way the family treats each other, their daily life – we see nothing except through their eyes, & that is what makes the novel a stirring read. The novel never feels like a history lesson or a window on human rights issue, all of the best elements of fiction are present right there: love, betrayal, crisis, scandal, the best and worst of human behavior. What's unmistakable though is how much war -- be in the Soviets, the Americans or the Taliban and various factions -- have gutted the country. This is a story of a country in which there are roughly 2 million war widows & almost as many beggars as there are burqa’s. Nearly every family who stayed had someone who was murdered, raped and tortured and sometimes entire families were massacred.


Someone who keeps track of international news will be well exposed to the atrocities of war & the suffering of women, but as fiction, it devastates in an unflinchingly real way, that will force each reader to imagine the consequence of facing such a grim fate. All in all there are the lessons to be learnt: true love never dies; justice will be done; sisterhood is powerful. It’s a novel that will keep you on the edge till u read the last line, well worth a read, impossible to resist. Speaking of his countrymen in “The Kite Runner” made Khaled Hossieni a well known name among the new genre of writers, but it is the plight of Afghan women in “A thousand splendid suns” that has brought him to realize his full powers as a novelist.


-- Annie.