Lies

A dance of the vowels and consonants,
Perfectly placed, just the right amount of mush,
Articulated so well, a bitter disguise,
My inbox is full of your lies.


Faking sincerities, it’s all a facade,
Words in a twelve point Arial,
Signed with the sickly sweet "XOXO"
Hugs and Kisses so out of place.


Spell-checked and every dot perfect,
Seduction with grammar, cheap and dishonest,
Each time I read your letters,
My mind reverberates with the sound of your lies.


You think you have it all going your way,
But honey this time, you couldn’t be more wrong
It’s a wrong girl you picked to mess with this time,
And it’s now payback time for all those lies.


Forward, Honey, I forward,
Everything to the woman who wears your ring,
Enough of your deception now let me watch,
As your punctuated lies destroy your everything.




~Annie.



P.S: Next time you decide to patao someone online, remember there could be a potential disadvantage.. Electronic content cant ever be erased, it persists for ever... and also of course, you could be dealing with a crazed vindictive woman like me :D *evil laugh*

Masquerade Lovers

In a room full of people.. Long coats and pretty dresses,
And painted faces, bright with every color,
Between us is a dance floor, glinting and bare,
And the music beckons us on…

Our eyes meet across the room,
And I can’t pull my gaze away, you captivate me so..
It’s dangerous, this feeling, like a drug,
Recklessness and the thrill..

We walk towards each other, holding our gaze still,
Meet in the middle of the dance floor, the lights on us..
We don’t talk, hiding behind feathered masks,
No Words get in the way..

You take my hand and spin me across the floor,
Did you feel that tiny charge that shivered down my spine?
As you pulled me in your arms.. so close to you..
That mute sigh that escaped my lips...

Nothing so intimate, as the touch of your hand on my waist,
And my hand on your shoulder, and our fingers intertwined,
This rhythm we dance to, like it was made for us,
Like you were made for me...

Its sin.. The way your eyes strip me..
Down to my deepest core, leaving me vulnerable,
Your ivory mask is cold beneath my fingertips touch,
But d heat in your eyes sears me through and through…

We hide behind our masks, and our fine dresses,
And we play the little pretend game,
Of being perfect and beautiful, when we might be not,
No words said, just our eyes do the talk..

The music stops now, you hold my gaze a bit longer,
You bow. I curtsy. The dance is over.
Masquerade Lovers... that’s what we were,
We lived a love story in that one dance,
And then we left, two opposite directions, you & I,
Never to ever meet again...

Annie...

P.S: I found the pic first, and it inspired me to write the poem... I told ya, I m weird!! :)

I stood outside in the rain today...

I know from the sound...That the rains coming down
I know it from the sweet smell of earth... That the rains are here
And I know it from the loneliness that wells up in my heart
You aren’t here beside me...N That the rains are here...

I stood outside in the rain today,
Hugging myself as the rains soaked me to the bone,
Wishing it might wash away with itself,
What there is left inside of me...

I stood outside in the rain today,
And watched as the lightning flashed across the sky,
I like it out here, cold and wet, I m just a random Nobody,
No one even need know that I’m even there…

I stood outside in the rain today,
Tired of hiding behind the happy mask and the pretend smile,
And the rain does not let me lie anymore.. or hide anymore,
All this pain in my heart, while slowly each day I’m dying...

I stood outside in the rain today,
My tears leaving black streaks down my face,
And the blankness in my eyes is my sorrows only trace..
But this time I can blame it on the rain...

It’s raining today, and everything reminds me of you,
Making me wonder if you still love the clown-girl from your yesteryear…
She’s all grown up now, no dreams lighting up her eyes anymore
She’s all grown up now… But she still misses her Ro...

Yours,

An's...

P.S: There’s so much more to say.. But I’m afraid this will leave me feeling more empty than what I started with.. So Ill stop now..

P.P.S: "Pyar tumhe kitna karte hai... Tum yeh samaj nahi paoge.. Jab hum na honge toh bolo kya tab aaoge...."

Theres something abt u...

Theres something abt the way u laugh...

Dat makes me go all warm inside...

Theres something abt the way you say my name...

Dat makes me wish u wud say it again...

Theres something abt the way u make me wait...

Dat makes me half frown and half smile...

Theres something abt the way u flirt...

Dat makes my heart go hop, skip and jump..

Theres something abt the way u talk to me for hours...

Dat makes me lose all sense of time..

Theres something abt the way I miss u whn ur gone..

Dat makes me realize this time its different...

Theres something abt the way u leave things a lil halfway...
Dat makes me think abt u.. way past bedtime...
Theres something abt the way u make me think abt u...
Dat makes me grin to myself, hiding my face in my pillow.. :P

Theres something abt the way u msg me every morning..
Dat makes me reach for my phone, even thru barely awake eyes..
Theres somethng abt the ":D" tht u send me everyday..
Dat makes me smile foolishly thru the day..

Theres something abt the way u flare up whn someone else flirts wid me...

Dat makes me grin a lot inwards.. though I never show it...

Theres something abt the way u say "Pleeasshh Smillleeee"...

Dat makes me feel lik the girl wid d prettiest smile in d whole wide world.. :)

Theres somethng abt u boy...

Dats made me lose my heart to u... :)

Annie..
P.S: Foolish, Silly, Stupid... i know i know.. :P..
I m in crazy kiddo mood. :P

Baby when did your hands grow so cold?

CAUTION: Reader Discretion Advised. Graphic words used.

Remember the first time I saw u while you played in the rain?

Remember the first time I laughed at you when you said something funny?

Remember the first time I smiled at you while in your arms?

Look at me and tell me do u see that girl anymore?

The first time you hit me I was blind,

I didn't see that it was the beginning of something that will never end,

Wore dark sunglasses and put on makeup to hide the bruises,

So people wouldn't see what you had done to me..

The first time you called me a bitch in front of my friends,

I laughed and looked away making it seem like a joke

Did you know I cried myself to sleep that night?

Wondering what I had done wrong? Y was I so imperfect?

The first time you gave me a fractured arm,
I was too numb... too blank.. to think straight,
All my friends told me to get away from you..
And all I could think how i could make up for my mistakes?

The first time you raped me I was scared,

That if I cried you wouldn't want me anymore,

Do u know I spent hours in the cold cold shower?

Washing away filth that wouldn't go away..

I dont know who stares at me in d mirror anymore
I dont know where did that bubbly smiling girl go
I dont know where the guy she feel in love with disappear
Baby when did your hands grow so cold?

A broken spirit...and a crushed pair of wings

Befouled violated body..and a numb mind..

You took and twisted me into someone I don't know

Baby when did your hands grow so cold?

-Annie.
P.S: This is a topic very close to me. I have often wondered what makes a woman stay in a abusive relationship... What is that makes her forget that she deserves better? ...Can love really be that blind?

"Just me and my baby"

(written from guys point of view. :))

I used to be d star,
Bang in d middle of the crowd that used to applaud,
Making merry and cracking jokes
Hiding behind a wall that no one could break down.

Going home lonely
The guys have left with their girls
And there's no one who gives me company
Its just me. Only me.

N there she is... waiting for me
Always ready for me, silent. so silent.
She sings her song as I fire her up,
N my heart sings along.

She knows all about d dreams I saw
And about d girl who broke them apart
She knows about d times I cried and let it all out
She knows me. So well. Inside out.

She takes me away, letting me ride,
Takes me places faraway, places unknown
N I don't have to hide anymore when I'm with her
N no one judges me .. No one stares anymore.

She calls me again tonight
Into the beautiful darkness
The moon hangs low like a peep hole to another world
And the highway seems like the right way to go. Away. Faraway.

The rhymes don't make any sense
N d world fights low and dirty
U guys, I m going away for a while
Just me and my baby. For a while.

I don't care where I m going, it aint home
I don't know when Ill be back my friends
so miss me while i m gone..
There's a ride I need to get on. 
Its Personal.


Its just me n my baby tonight.

P.S: Dedicated to a special someone who loves his bike. Obsessively. :)
P.P.S : If you are a biker, tell me in one sentence what is your relationship with your bike. I'm taking a survey. :)

Wails From The Wumpus World!!!

Oh Wumpus! Oh Wumpus!

Ur the latest version of virus!

The time has come, cant u see..

To warn everyone of ur treachery!!

You hav made Varu's hair curl in frustration

And Annie curses u all d way to damnation

Shilpa still cherishes the lovely dates in ur dungeon,

But Lo! when she came out, she was a curmudgeon!!!

Your froggy eyes like tiny dents in flesh,

Your harsh voice irritates us no less

Your cackling laugh resounding in the hall

Your desire to hav everyone at your beck and call!!!

Varu is ready to crack under the pressure!!

As Annie tries (unsuccessfully) to be a go-getter..

Though Shilpa still blushes at ur glances

She is also about to reach teh end of her tether!!!

Whenever u pass, u leave in ur wake, a terible "STENCH"

For us there is nowhere to run, not even a bench

The thick gross hair that crowds ur ear

Its a wonder!!! Can u even hear??!!!

Oh Wumpus! Oh Wumpus!

Look at the lovely day with its beautiful breeze

Plz Plz be kind Oh Wumpus!!

Give us a days leave!

So Varu can go & dance with "______" (dash)

& Shilpa can have a "Bournville" bash..

Oh n Annie!! Shes anyway all d time on "long distance" gtalk,

Maybe this time, she can go have a long "walk"!!

Oh Wumpus! Oh Wumpus!

U eat anyone who enters ur "Smelly" abode

But we will bear all ur eccentricites

Cz we want to grab our "Glittering" gold!!!!

Written by Annie

With exceptional inputs from Varu.. lolz!

(Shilpa GLARES!! hehe..)

P.S: Anyone who has had "Artificial Intelligence" as a subject will knw d terms used here. others jus google "Wumpus". lolz. :)

Crimson Tears

Standing all alone… in the middle of nowhere…

No one who cares… breathing fake air…

She feels so distant, ripped from existence…

Got so transparent… lost all substance…

Her shattered heart pounds against her breast…

The pieces cutting holes in her chest…

Slowly she fades… as quickly she drowns…

In the crimson tears that run down her arm…

She wants to scream. She wants to shout…

A prisoner in her skin… wants to let it all out…

But she doesn’t make a sound… keeps it all inside…

Wants to breakaway… but instead she hides…

Alone in her room… quietly sobbing in her shell..

This is her fucked up life… her own private hell…

She’s lost everything that she’s ever had,

Crimson tears seep through her skin because it hurts so bad…

She’ll tilting on the edge, about to fall off…

Her soul so lacerated but mind is so soft…

Is that the smell of red again as it starts to run?

She stares at the crimson tears and wonders…

...What has she done?...

P.S: Don't freak out!!! Wrote this a LONG time back. Around a year back. Just thought of putting it up here.

P.S.S: I m NOT a cutter. Not anymore. Definitely don't encourage it. For all those who lead a secret life as this one, go seek help soon. Because you may not realize it right this moment, but life is way too beautiful. :)

Added Later: 

Not connected to the post... But something that I believe in.... have faith! everything works out in the end! :)

When you come to the edge of the light that you know,
and you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,
faith is knowing that one of two things will happen--
there will be something to land on…
or you will learn how to fly.

Hes such a guy!!!

Once upon a time, in a land far far away,

Lived a weirdo who was born in May,

Crazy , Silly , Stupid and Funny,

Who remindes me of bugs bunny.

He makes me wait, on and on, Telling me he'll be back soon,

And doesnt show up till I m ready to tear out my hair,

Bored to death,i m just staring at the moon,

With my ass permenently flattened to my chair..

He always has the weirdest excuses to tell,

I was early, but My flatmate forgot the key,

I wanted to be early, but I lost my credit card,

Last bt not the least, D cabbie dropped me off in a weird dark alley.

He makes me so mad, I narrow my eyes,

And he attempts to make me melt wid his sighs,

Takes Haw on his side and begs with a innocent face,

Makes me think, he is such an adorable nutcase.

He makes me cross and he makes me yell,

whether he will change his ways, only time will tell,

If he ever promises and then is again late,

Tht will be the last night I'll spend in wait!!!

P.S: Men i tell u!!!

P.P.S : Pathetic attempt at rhyming. bt i had a lot of fun imagining the crazy always late guy and writing this. Hope u guys hav fun reading it too!!

P.P.P.S: Hmmpphhh!!! (glares)

From Me to You... :)

Inspired by my dearest angel Seno.. here is my version of 'A desperate Plea'..

 


I'm silly.. and I'm sweet..
Let me talk.. and you look on,
I'm a kid.. and I'm vulnerable..
Let me fall.. and then pick me up..
I am a baby.. let me cry..
Gather me in your strong arms
And save me from all harm




Make me whole..Breathe new life into me
Cz I hav been lying empty for so long..
I am lonely and I am scared,
I feel hollow and my heart is sad..






Give all ur love to me and then some more
Make me believe in rainbows again
Hug me tight.. never let me go,
Take me out, and buy me balloons,
Bring me chocolate chip icecream.. make me melt,
Laugh with me.. And tell me I'm cute..
Make me fall in love with you baby..





I will smile and I will act crazy...
I wont let you see how much it hurts baby..
See through the fake and take my hand
Tell me it will be allright soon
And you'll be there till the end..






I m a little bit of sugar
And lots of spice,
I m a little bit of good
And lots of bad,
Smile at me like I'm the only woman u see
Smooth my curls and gaze into my eyes
Kiss me senseless and leave me breathless






I'll trust u with my heart, Don't let it break..
Cz I love the way u say my name,
Come to me baby
And kiss my fingertips..
Swish your wand and make it magical
Take me away..
Faraway..

P.S : Hope u know how to read between the lines.. :)

P.P.S : Silly i know!!! I m in a silly mood.. hehe.

P.P.P.S : For no one in particular!!! don't get any ideas.. hehe :P

Scribbles...

(jus some random scribbles.. shouldnt be taken as a poem.. jus thoughts..)

its difficult to breathe.. as invisible hands suffocate me
its difficult to sleep.. as the demons scare me
its difficult to forget everything... because i love him

i pretend to be allrite...when i am not
i smile ... when all i want to is break down and cry
i kiss you tender...when all i want is to scream
i sit still ... when all i want is to run away ... away

The worlds a bitch
whos got something against me
theres a road i am walking on
which noone else can see
am i walking away from something?or am i walking towards something?
i dont know
i dont know

what have i lost along the way?
what are the things i couldnt hold onto?
the mirror lies to me.. it screams calm
when theres a storm that rages inside me
that noone can see

i try to catch the raindrops
like i tried to gather people in life
like sand slipping from between outstreched fingers...everyone eluded me
till i was so alone
till all that was left was a broken me

night after night i lie in my empty bed,
looking at the shadows play across the ceiling,
No i wont cry, n i wont break.
No i wont cry..

i wont let the world see,
what they have taken away from me...

P.S: wrote a long time ago. since i m not that sad anymore, cudnt fix it up to mak it look like a proper poem. lolz. hope ill be writing nice stuff soon.. :)

I Wont Love You Any Less...

Its been 2 week since i hav seen u last

Its been a while since u held me in ur arms

Its been jus 2 weeks since u last smiled at me

But it feels lik an eternity, love...

I didnt know it wud be so easy for you to let me go

So easy to slam down the phone and ignore all calls

I didnt know i meant so little to u...so insignificant

when all this while, u said words that said somethng else...

Moving on, u hav left me shattered.. and confused and lost..

So devoid of strength to pick up the scattered myraid peices..

I feel the gaze of a million mocking eyes, saying "wht was she thinking?!"

Ripping to shreds everythng i had worked so hard to build..

I miss the person who had swept me away years ago,

The one who stood waiting for me a whole night,

The one who sang sweet songs to be to ease my troubles

And the one who stayed awake.. jus to watch me sleep..

I saw u the other day with ur friends,

U were smiling and joking abt somethng i dunt know..

Did u knw, tht the breath swooshed out of my lungs,

Leaving an impossible pain in its wake..

To see u so calm and composed, No hint of sadness in ur eyes..

U seemed lik u had moved on already, erased me lik somethng wrong,

I made my way slowly back home tht day, my legs felt leaden

Thinking hard abt where life was taking me.. where was i goin?

I had no answers abt all the "Why's" in my head,

I had no insight on which way to take, or who to talk to,

But something stuck me hard, as i re-read all ur letters,

And cradled all the toys that sat alone inside my cupboard...

I knew ill never be able to forget u so easy,

I knew ill always miss u... no matter hw many miles seperate us,

And i know so true, that I wont love u any less than now..

simply cz ur, n will always be, the best thing that ever happened to me..

~~~~~~~~~~

P.S: Thanks for everything Bubu.

Holi Hai!!!! :)

The pyre burns... with erratic orange sparks flying away..
Spilling yellow light over evrythng tht stands near
Illuminating faces... I can see the fire dancing in their eyes
Old faces weary with the ages, lines deep on their forehead
Young faces, shining in the warm light, smiling toothy smiles...

Its the day the Holika burns..
destroying all tht was bad.. the suffering and the despair..
drinking with it, consuming all that was spite in the world
leaving jus the purity... jus the sancity.. and the smiles..

I watch the ladies with thier incence stickes and earthern lamps
and coins to be thrown... the belief on their brows..
so strong.. n so determined..
The kids dance around the holy light..
They chant prayers as the pyre burns.. cleansing us all..

I still sigh as things crowd my mind..
Y am i still so sad then?
Y can i let go of my troubles?
Y cant i let the holika wash away my pain..
leaving me too, clean and peaceful..

The wood burns with tht strange singeing sound..
The warmth of the blazing fire...seems to seep in..
All the way to the core of my bones.. n my soul..
Urging me to throw away my pain.. To let go of things.
To watch that all I hav to do is try..give it up for a moment..

And watch as they disappear with the twisting buring wood
And watch as the fire pulverizes it into somethng i dont know..
Watch it turn to dust before my eyes... so insignificant...
n feel the burden lift off my shoulders..
Move on in life, towards the light..Smiling..

... Embracing life...

She's my Guardian Angel..

She came into my life jus as a stranger..

From the other coast of the country..

The miles seperated us, but they couldnt stop..

Me from smiling whnever she came online..

The one i loved broke my heart.. and i was shattered..

I cried days on end.. shedding tears of loneliness..

Wishing it to be over soon..

Wishing i could be newher but here..

My heart broke into a million peices..

Scattering everywhere with each breath i took..

It was difficult to move ahead..

Because i was scared to take another step..

She burst through the darkness..

Like the 'hawtest' angel with wings of gold..

She pulled up up, and shook me wid words..

Both loving, soothing.. and sharp..

Till i began to see how much more i could do..

Than jus sit here and brood on wid the past..

She stayed wid me till i felt better..

Till i could smile again, thru the tears..

Thank u god, for sending me my angel..

Thank u angel, for making me see the way..

Thank u angel, for not givin up on me.. lik i gav up on myself..

Thank u angel, bcz u really are the BESTEST!!!

P.S: Dear Angel, u know who u are!! O, Hawest Godess!! The beautiful one wid the Halo!!... Thanks for everything!! I love u lots! Mwah!!!

BaBy i M So HigH ToniTe...

I am all alone…falling free...
Trying my best to remember …
What happened to me…what happened to us
What happened to my sweet little world,
As I watched it all slip out of my fingers.

The tears have left black mascara streaks
The passerby’s stare
At the poor girl in despair
See, how fucked up her life is
Wonder who’s she sleeping with now?

Baby would you rock me to sleep tonight?
Baby would you tuck me in the sheets?
Would you watch me till I fall asleep…
Coz, baby I m so high tonight…

The needle pricks my skin, as the crimson droplets fall
The picture starts to blur
The colors become bright
The blue and the red
I can feel the high baby…please hold me tight
.

Last time I waited and waited
For just a call.. Just a phone call
I cried a thousand tears for you
Hoping you would come and take me home

You never came baby… did u know I almost died that time?
.

Baby would you rock me to sleep tonight?
Baby would you tuck me in the sheets?
Would you watch me till I fall asleep…
Coz, baby I m so high tonight…

Couldn’t bear to go through the pain this time baby
Couldn’t bear to hear the shrill noise
Of my dreams and hopes shattering.. In myriad pieces
This place I have been before baby
I don’t wanna go there again

So here I m sniffing cocaine instead
  And getting high on the LSD in my veins
Trying to get rid of the motherfucking demons
So that I can concentrate
Concentrate… So I can forget

Baby would you rock me to sleep tonight?
Baby would you tuck me in the sheets?
Would you watch me till I fall asleep…
Coz, baby I m so high tonight…
.

Is it really the time to say goodbye?
Is it really that time to go separate ways?
I don’t blame you darling… but was I really that bad?
That you let me go?

The tears in my eyes… aren’t really for you
Its for someone inside me…who died today
Her last flailing breath… wrenched out of her
With your cruel words… she died
  And I mourn her death

So please baby… just for today…

Baby would you rock me to sleep tonight?
Baby would you tuck me in the sheets?
Would you watch me till I fall asleep…
Coz, baby I m so lonely tonight…

~Annie.

P.S: Feeling the lonliest I have ever felt .... :(