Jan 3, 2010

Good Girl Gone Bad.

The beep of her phone startled her, abruptly halting the pens advent of the idle doodling on the last page of her notebook. She took the cellphone out of her bag.

'1 new message’
"Free at 8?"

She ran her fingers through her thick black hair, turning slightly to her left. She saw him sitting at the far end of the class, turned towards her, watching her nonchalantly, casually flicking his phone in his hand. She turned back ahead as the professor droned on in his ultra-bored voice about the assignment to be handed in the next day. She slowly stashed her books into her bag, and started to walk out with the rest of the crowd, with the bag riding low on her waist.

She felt another beep as her cell vibrated in her back pocket. She turned back to him and gave a curt nod. She turned back ahead, but not before she saw her twine her fingers through his. Her lips curled into something between a sneer and a crooked smile and she walked out of the class with her heels tapping loudly, sure that he was watching her.

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He sat impatiently in his car, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, checking the rear view mirror every other second. She finally appeared, at the back end of the road, walking in a slow rhythmic grace towards him. Her worn out, faded jeans clung to those long shapely legs, almost making him sigh. Her eyes, outlined with black kohl, flashed with the dangerous light like always, guarded and cautious, like a feline just about to attack.

“Waiting for me honey?” she drawled in that deep husky voice, as she slid easily into the seat beside him. He gave her two seconds to close the door behind her, before he was claiming her lips with the urgency that was threatening to dangerously spin out of control.

He felt her hands pushing him back, softly but with an undeniable strength beneath them. He leaned back, took a deep breath and cleared his mind of his thoughts, and took off with squealing tires that left a cloud of dust in its wake.

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The night had turned colder, and they lay on the back seat of the car, sharing a sheet between the two of them. She shifted slightly snuggling deeper under the sheet, pulling the strap of her bra back over her shoulder. He sat leaned against the window, frosted with the vapor, running his fingers through his hair now damp with the sweat. Suddenly striking like a naughty kitten, she nudged him on the chest with her foot under the blanket. He looked up at her, smiling the crooked smile, watching as she gave him the almost drowsy half-smile, mysterious stare, that he could never decipher, but which never failed to arouse him. He made to move towards her, his hands sliding up her thighs, and she moved to take him over her, reaching for his shoulder when the shrill sound of his cell phone broke loudly into the nights silence.

She sat up abruptly, her eyes turning back to chips of black hard stone, the smile gone from her face. He rolled his eyes and he didn’t need to check his phone before he said in clipping tones, “It’s her.”

It was the signal for her to remain quiet. In the silence of the night, she heard every word from the phone like she was right there on the back seat of the car.

“Sweetheart, where are you? I have been waiting for your call for the entire evening!”

He said in a bored sounding flat monotone, “I was busy baby, remember we have that networks assignment to hand in tomorrow?”

He pulled her in his arms, balancing the phone between his shoulder and right ear, his fingers idly playing with her hair, damp too, slipping lower to the tattoo on her left hip. He tuned her out, as she went on about how many dresses she got from the million stores she went to that afternoon. And then he gasped as she suddenly got on top of him.

“What’s wrong honey? What happened?” came the voice from the phone, barely missing anything. But he hardly heard anything, because she was so close to him, cupping his face with both hands, he could almost hear her heartbeat, her hair tumbling all over her shoulder onto his chest.

“I’ll call you back later. I broke my toenail.” He flicked his cell closed and threw it somewhere in the front. She laughed then, a rich sound, throwing her hair over her shoulder and looking down at him grinning, “Broke your toenail? Seriously? ” He grabbed the hair at the back of her head and pulled her back closer, eliminating the last of the distance between them.

They didn’t complete the networks assignment after all.

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“Happy anniversary baby” she crooned, planting a big smack on his lips, right in front of the whole class. The girl’s aww-ed and the guys wolf-whistled. A cake had been called for to celebrate their 3 years of togetherness. He didn’t like the way it all was projected as some grand affair, he hated the crowds. He looked over the faces around him to the far end of class, watched her as she stood leaning back against the wall, the same old mysterious stare directed towards him.

He didn’t realize that someone else was watching her too.

“The punk chic’s got the hots for your guy. Look how she stares.” Her best friend whispered into her ears, she turned to look and it was true. There was pure animal hunger on that girls face. A possessive flash of jealousy made her walk purposefully towards him and turn him to face her. She kissed him lightly on the lips and pulling away to smile back at him. Slipping her hands down his arm, she nodded towards the cake, pulling him softly along with her.

She saw everything from across the class, her eyes an unfathomable black and her face an impassive mask. She turned and slowly walked away, certain that he was not watching her anymore.

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“You don’t deserve to live bitch.”

She was hunched over the sink in the washroom, and she straightened up with a flash, meeting crazed furious eyes in the mirror. She turned around, pure, bone-chilling fear gripping every fiber of her being. It was strange because she had never felt fear ever in her entire life, till this moment as she stared at the girl shaking with anger, her eyes saying that she was beyond any reason. She opened her mouth to scream but it was too late.

The terror was the last thing she ever felt, before the hammer came crashing into her face.

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“Did they find out who it was?”

“It was late. She was about to go out. No one saw who it was.”

“Could it be one of us?”

He heard nothing of it all, numb with the sight of closed coffin. They said her face was smashed so bad that they couldn’t even fix it up for her funeral. He still felt like it was all just a bad dream.

He felt a beep from his cell phone. He slowly took it out and flicked it open. He looked up across the cemetery and saw her standing below the willow at the end of the grounds. Even from that far he could see that half-smile and that mysterious stare.

‘1 new message’
“Free at 8?”

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~Annie.
P.S: *grin*

51 comments:

Shaiz said...

wow... this could very well be a movie

*Shreya* said...

aaaayeee!!! i like i like!! evil!! i like i like!!!

oh and the description i love i love!!! so clear the readers imagination has no work to do :)

theschmuck said...

NO SHIZ!THIS READS THE AWESOME IN MY BOOK!

Weirdo guy said...

is this like the indian version of alfred hitchcock's psycho ?!

Shaunak said...

frakking awesome!! It's like a movie trailer, only better!

I love the evil in it!


P.S. "Free at 8?"

Anupam Gupta said...

lol....can i post the comment here that i gave you on the phone???lol....

buckingfastard said...

dats like a bollywood movie script re!!! it has evrything in right proportion...send it to sum gud production house :D

...Faith said...

that was freaking chilly...too gud...

The West Wind said...

Wow.. this was awesome!! Gripping and enthralling..

gargi said...

aaaah!!!..LOVED IT!..
your such a good writer! Every detail was perfect! And everything just comes alive as if its a movie!... yumm..i seriously loved it!!! Wish it was a book or something..hehe.
I am at work.. so much to do..and still i stole away time to keep reading it in parts..lol... very addictive!
love you
xox

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Shaiz, theschmuck,

Welcome here! :) And Thanks a lot for liking the story! :)

@Shreya,

:P I like too!!!! :) Thanks for liking it! :)

@Weirdo Guy,

LOL! NO! Psycho had nothing about a love triange, it was the weird guy having a stuffed mom. :D But wow, alfred hitchcock! Thnanks a ton! :)

@Shaunak,

Thanks! :)
and *grin* *wink*

@Pam,
hehheheheheheh!!! I rather NOT have that on a public comments section :D ;)
But glad ypu think its nice anyway. Mwah! :)

@buckingfastard,
LOL! As my best friend pointed it out to be over chat, I think bollywood has already written and rewritten this storyline for ages! :P Rem Pyar Tune Kya Kiya? :D
But thanks anyway! :)

@Faith & West Wind,
Thanks! :)

@Gargi,

Awwwwww! Thanks! :)
*huggggssss*
Love ya too babe! :)

Cheers to all,
Annie. :)

soin said...

ah yes.nice descriptions.there was some movie on similar lines and it was called c u at 9.free

Anu said...

Awesome and completely psycho! :D That was some fiction in detail... I could visualise things :)

Good going, Annie! Write more :)

Raj said...

daring and ruthless. the way you like it. grr. do more.

Sur said...

hey.. nice blog and beautiful post!! liked it totally.. :)

Sundeep said...

You should try to sell this story to a director.

blunt edges said...

WHOAAAA!!! how EVIL was that!!!

i could picturize each n everything that i read n man was it something!

i haven't read much fiction here, but from what i read today, i'm a major (i mean MAJOR) fan!

someone just redefined AWESOMENESS!!! :D:D:D

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Soin,.
Thanks! I have never heard of this movie... good watch? Ill go download then..

@Anu,
Thanks Anu! :)
I sure will.. :)

@Raj,
Yep I will. Thanks :)

@Sur & Sundeep,
Welcome here! Thanks for liking my story!
Keep visiting :)

Cheers,
Annie.

soin said...

nah bad movie...free

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Blunt_Edges,
Thanks so much! :)

@Soin,
ohk! saved me some bandwidth :P

ANWESA said...

I don't know why..but the sordid situation was spine-chilling for me...



P.S.:You excel in dark romantic fiction. Keep blogging!

Vinayak said...

sexaad... i looooove Evil stories....

Misty Rhythm said...

wooaahhh!!! you have some serious talent...i think this is the first time i'm reading a fictional story in your blog...beeeeeeooootiful!

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Anwesa, Misty Rhythm,
Heyya! Thanks a lot! :)

@Ugam,
Hehhehehehe! Lol yeah I know :D
So, free at 8? ;)

Samyukta said...

Gripping and positively chilling!

Destiny's child... said...

Wow....Love, lust, betrayal! One of those Mahesh Bhatt plots!;)

The narrative is thrilling. Keep up the good work! :)

akansha said...

All has been said already.!So very well drafted. "Free at 8" Awesome.!

bondgal_rulz said...

OMG!!!!

This is your BESTESTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTtt post ever!!!

Everything was just PERFECT!!!!!!
I could so well imagine the whole thing!!!!

WOW!!! WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

You are such an AWESOME story teller!!!

Love
Isha

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Samyukta, Destinys Child, Akanksha
Thanks a lot guys!!! :)

@Isha,
Thanks!!!! :) :)
But then again, I,m hardly a story teller... :P I like the mushy ones more :D :D

Love,
Annie.

Rhea said...

u have captured the 'instincts' very well. I could completely relate to it! great job! :D

damsel in distress said...

**jealous***

that was awesome! best i've read in a while! i dont say this often, but m forced to-you ROCK!!!!

\m/

Nikki... said...

My first visit to your post and am floored!!! Just awesome :):)

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Damsel in distress..

Hey thanks a lot re! :) Havnt seen u around in a while... how have u been? :)


@Rhea & Nikki,

Thanks for visiting my blog and liking this post!
Keep coming!

Cheers,
Annie.

Novacaine said...

Awesomely written!

shilpa said...

Awesome!!!!

wah wah annie tu to writer ban gayi yar...keep it up!
:)

My conversations with GOD said...

This was BRILLIANT!!! simply superb..!! kudos gal!

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Novacaine,

Thanks!

@Shilpa,

heheh! Thanks... bas upar wale ki daya se :P

@Conversations with god,

Welcome here! Thanks! :)

Ashwadhy said...

Absolutely neat! Chilly....

Sorcerer said...

this is wonderful
pretty well written

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Ashwadhy & Sorcerer,

Thanks a lot guys! :)

Meenakshi said...

intense.. absolute gripping !

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Meenakshi,
Thanks!

ani_aset said...

this is superb writing ...i coulld picture each and every scene in my mind..and when someone writes like that, its just awesome..you got superb skills yaara..sure you will do well being a script writer trust me :)

IcE MaiDeN said...

@ani_aset,

Thanks a lot!!! :)

Dr. Acula said...

*screams bhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooootttttt and runs away*

*comes back*

Okay, really, I get scared. :S My mom dint let me watch Aahat when I was small. :S (you now how it is na, Isha!)

OBHAISAAAAAB!!!!! :O :O Annie, yaar, you rock \m/

And seriously, there should be a sequel..like there better be :P ..Im curious to know what happened next :P

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Ishani,

Hehehehhehehe!!! its NOT bhoot sweetypiee.... *hugs hugs* Its just a crazy woman on the loose :P

Thanks Thanks :P :)

*thinks real hard*
wow you make sense.. I SHOULD write a sequel and make it scarier somehow :P :D

Shanu said...

Awesome!!!

Kanishk said...

Well Done !!

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Shanu, Kanishk...
Thanks! :)

Kanishk said...

part of my comment didn't get published :S anyway...

For the first half I was convinced its a real story and damn the whole image is in my head as if i just watched a thriller !!
*shivers*

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Kanishk,
Again, Thanks for liking my attempt at fiction! :)

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