Musing..

Someone just asked me “Annie, do u still believe in love?” And I answered without missing a beat, “Yes I do.” Damn the question keeps popping up all the time eh? Why is it assumed that someone who has had a breakup has to be a non believer? Is everyone falling in the said category a non believer? If so then that makes me one strange girl!! :P

I have had a rather depressing love story, having loved a guy for a better part of college life, which ultimately ended in total chaos, misery and tears. I’m not trying to be super-womanly about it… I went through my share of crying and moping and questioning the world “Y me?” I was depressed crazy but you know I reached a point where I finally believed that the guy wasn’t worth it. I mean I am not blaming him or cursing him all the way to damnation, no I am not, I just finally came to terms with the fact that he wasn’t the one I am supposed to be with. I have no reason to hate him, because hating him won’t make things any better. He has wronged me yes, and there are some things I will never forgive him for, but no matter what I cannot just do away with years off my life can I now? The memories are always going to be there and its my choice whether I put up with them lik adjusting in a badly cramped place, poking and prodding at things from the past or packing them away in a cardboard box and putting them away at the back of the room. I made the place. I put them away back. For good. :)

Do I still believe in love? Yes I do. I am one silly girl who happens to be a eternal romantic. I still believe someday someone is going to show up who is going to come and sweep me off my feet. Of course he won’t be perfect, because no one is, but he will be perfect for me. I dream of that guy sometimes, smiling foolishly, about someone who isn’t even here yet!!! Lolz. I really AM strange. :P

Being in a relationship that didn’t work out and broke my heart could have very easily turned me bitter towards a lot of things in life. Most people I know are like that, unable to accept something that life is offering now, because you are still clutching the past. That is not how it should be. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. Maybe the best reason for all the crap that happened to you was to make you perfect for the next person who comes along. :)

There’s a very special person who I often tell, “Everything has to balance out in the universe. If something bad has happened to you, something good is waiting for you right around the corner.” Hope someone who is reading this right now, realizes that and smiles. Coz nothing makes me happier than making someone smile. :)

Annie.
P.S: there is a lot more to life than you think there is, so SMILE ppl! For all you know, someone might be falling in love with that smile right now. :)

Of being sleepless, GROSS men, and Rishi Kapoor..

Awake at an ungodly hour such as now (4:42 am), listening to my all time fav song - Iris, NOT thinking of the past as I would have been doing under the previous two conditions.. instead Im in some philosphical mode, thinking about life and love and friendships and college and office and you know, anything and everything and nothing at all too :) But I aint getting any better with the conclusions part, but its ok I guess. Life has been good. And thats enough for now.

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I have been travelling by bus to office a lot lately (afterall I was going to run out of money SOMEDAY. well, guess someday is here :P) Ma kicked me literally and told me in a rather stern(bullying) voice that just because I earn now, DOESNT mean I am supposed to spend it ALL in one go. Lolz. That conclusion being derived from the fact that absolutely NOTHING *gasp* remains of my first month salary. Hahaha! guess I got a lil bit too enthusiatic with all the cash :P

Haan toh I was saying ki I travel by bus a lot these days, and as usual I observe. Meaning I have this tendency of observing things in situation I cant talk nonstop like I usually do. So I have observed this rather strange mix of people I meet in buses. I wont go into the details of them all (maybe someday later) But there is one thing I have observed so many times, but never ever fails to GROSS me out! I mean this is by far the yuckiest thing I have ever observed and discussions with fellow male species didnt give me much insight on why men do it in the first place. The topic being "what is with the impossible urge of men(?) to scratch their crotches in public?" *pukes*

Ok so I really like the window seat in buses. I dont like to sit on the sides because invariably some guy/man/creature with the (dash) is going to come there, smelling lik a goat, thrust his royalty right next to my shoulder, n get into the scratch-like-a -monkey mode. All that happening like inches away from my face. *ewwwww* :

Ok so I m grossed out at 5 in the morning. Lolz. :P

Moving onto other bus happenings. BEST has installed some really pathetic looking TV's inside the buses, which play the choicest songs. I mean one bus ride from Andheri to Chandivili put me through various levels of choreography witnessed by the Indian cinema.

First up was "Sochenge tumhee pyaarrr aarrr aarrrr kare ki nahi". I was snoozing in the bus when I heard the song suddenly start, and I woke up HIGHLY irritated wondering who on earth wrote a song that says "I will THINK about wheather I want to love you" Dont we like have enough of people in the world who cant make up their mind??!!! *shakes head* Next the visual (lack of)treat. Rishi Kapoor dancing in a silver suit *suffers head trauma due to the sudden glare* Then came out a horde of women (wearing silver ofc, color coordinated song that was!) who looked like they forgot to wear their saree's. Oh dear god! what could POSSIBLY be worse? I found out soon.

I have this another tendency to observe dance steps, because I have been dancing from as long as I can remember, and many times, we set dances with dance steps taken from here and there. In this song, there was a wide array of props - first FLAGS (the miniature kind we get on independence day), then we had peacock feathers, lasers, ribbons - everything that glitters and DOES NOT go with silver.

Last but not the least, Rishi Kapoor removes his silver *I don shades to protect eyes now* jacket, and Lo! wht do we see? its RED on the inside!!! Its also satin, and Rishi uncle is sweating profusely and next he removes his jacket and throws it in the middle of a group of screaming women. *shakes head*

I went back to sleep, throughly traumatised from the odd 3 minute song, and dreamt of intermittent silver flashes of light.

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My favorite Prince is back home.


- Annie.
P.S: N Im still NOT sleepy!!! :P :D

A-Z ....

Dhapped the Tag from MistyRhythm's page... (ok im back to doing Tags. :P yeah i like them so much!)

A – Available/Single? – Single: YES Available : NO
B – Best friend? – I have too many! Can’t pick one. :)
C – Cake or Pie? – Cake. Cheesecake :) As weird as it might sound, I've never had pie.
D – Do I want something right now?– Yes! But its highly unlikely I will actually get it.
E – Essential item you use every day? – Kohl. Everyone knows that by now eh? :P Oh and Davidoff Cool Water. I NEVER leave home without a dab.
F – Freedom to me is? – Being Happy. Being unhappy means something is restricting you somewhere...
G – Giggle / Laughter – Laughter. I have been blessed to have met people who brought a lot of that into my life...
H – Heart / Brain – I’m one messed up system. In matters of the heart, I let my brain do the talking and when I should let my brain decide, my heart takes over. *sigh!*
I – Indulgence/ Addiction? – Indulgence. There are simply too many things cluttered around in my life for it being feasible to get addicted to.
J – June or July? – June. It rains a lot here in that month. Plus I always associate school with that month, since it was when it reopened.
K – Kids & their names? – I had once planned on naming my little son Rehaan. I don’t know if I still want to. It’s hard to get over the mental image I had of the little things he would do, at the same time, even the fictious lil boy reminds me of things I would rather forget.
L - Life is – too bizarre and complicated to be explained in a one liner.
M – Mistakes – do not sound so dumb when we make them right? :P Ok ok seriously, I think if people wouldn’t make any mistakes, they wouldn’t get any wiser. :)
N – Number of siblings? – None.
O – One thing I hate to accept? – That I have absolutely NO ego. I forgive much too soon and much too easy. K It shouldn’t work that way.
P – Pictures / Reality – Reality. It leaves a lasting impression. One that limited dimensionality of pictures cannot capture.
Q – Quote for today? – “I wish you could hear all the words I’m too afraid to say…”
R – Reason behind my brain working these days? – Coffee. Coffee. And some more coffee. :P
S – Season? – Monsoon. I have always had a love affair with the rains… From the beginning of tiny drizzles to the lashing of a heavy downpour. It’s a season for romance, what else will be the fitting favorite for an eternal romantic like me?
T – Tag 3 People? – Noone since I know people dislike doing tags. I think I’ve spammed people enough already :P
U – Unknown fact about me? – Ahh!! Lemme see… I’ve really tiny hands. :P
V – Vegetable you don't like? – I’m not too picky about food. It just has to taste good. :P
W – Worst habit? – Falling in love too easily...
X – X-rays you've had? – Err.. Hands, Legs, Ears ( :O ). Yeah, that’s about it.
Y – Yes?? Yuck??? – Makes no sense whatsoever, so moving on to the last question…
Z – Zodiac sign? – Feisty Fiery Sagittarian :P

So noone told you life was gonna be this way....

So... What do you do when you wake up with the mother of all headaches and a foul mood.. Not because you got wasted but because you cried yourself to sleep last night.. *sigh!*

So what do you do when you THINK you are making it through tough times, with awesome friends and work and silly crushes and losing a couple of pounds and looking greater than ever before? You rejoice right? You are supposed to feel good about yourself, because damnit, your life’s great. But the catch word was ‘think’… because life has a way of coming right back at you and telling it to your face that everything isn’t ok yet. With no hopes of it getting ok either.

Why do people say things that hurt, that cut so deep and so bad, that the words actually keep repeating themselves over again even after they are already said. Why does it happen that silly girls like me fall for the WRONG guys?? *sarcastic laugh* Why is it so that people become important to you, slowly creeping into your heart without even a whisper and it doesn’t hit you till you reach a point where it starts to hurt that you will never mean the same?

And what do you do when that happen anyway?

You spend the whole Sunday, dressed in your favorite PJ’s, the most comfortable faded old tee, sitting with a extra big tub of chocolate chip ice-cream and watch the oldest episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. … and wish life would have been that easy. *sigh!*

Annie.
P.S: I know I haven’t been regularly posting here, so I thought I could drop in every once a while with miniature rants. *sigh!* I promise to NOT be this grumpy always.
P.P.S: I SO know now what Rachael felt when Ross got off that plane with Julie in tow. (Yeah I hav been watching Season 1 back to back) *sigghh!!!*

Happy Bday!

Dearest Sweetheart,

Wish U manyyyy manyyyy happy returns of the day!!! :) Hope u hav an amazing time today, starting NOW!!!! :)

Luv,

Annie :)

Finally the Tag!!!!

OneThoughtOn had tagged me like AGES ago... But with work, n (tryin to) stay away from the blog, reading other blogs, etc etc... I didnt get the time to put it up. My apologies. But alls well now, just handed in a big project, nothing to do for the weekend, except shop shop and more shop. :P So here it is, My "four" Tag :)



4 places I have lived:
1. Mumbai (Goregaon West)
2. Mumbai (somewhere midway between Goregaon and Malad)
3. Mumbai (Malad West)
4. Mumbai (somewhere different in Malad West)

:P
(I have stayed here all my life and DO NOT plan on shifting anywhere out. EVER.)


4 TV shows I love to watch:
1. F.R.I.E.N.D.S (who doesnt? :P)
2. HIMYM (Totally in love with Barney :D)
3. CSI (NY & Miami both) :P
4. Big Bang (Sheldon is awesome! :P)



4 places I have been on vacation:
I havent travelled much, though I would really love to. I have been on mini vacations - shorts visits to relatives scattered all over India, so ill pick my top four :
1. Hyd whn I had just started college. :)
2. Goa - 2nd year trip with VJ Wizards
3. Shimla-Manali - 3rd year trip with again the wizards
4. North Again - Final year trip with Wizards, yet again! :)


4 of my favorite food:
1. Prawns :P (BIG sea foodie :P)
2. Pav Bhaji - Im a mumbaikar, what do u expect? :P
3. College ki canteen ka ragda samosa :)
4. Anythng from KFC :)

*basically anything that ISNT south indian. I totally hate south indian food :P No offence!! Some of my best friends are southies (refer: dimpled angel) :)*


4 websites I visit daily:
1. PlanetSourceCode
2. CodeProject
3. Facebook/Orkut :P
4. Blogger :)



4 places I’d rather be:
1. Inorbit Mall :P :D Damn!!! D mall closed on time today but my shopping wasnt yet over :P :D
2. Atlanta :( :( *Miss u sweetypie*
3. A friend in another city needs a hug. Wish I was there giving it myself, instead of over the phone.
4. The bed? I m sooo sleepyy!!! :P


4 novels I love: (changed original question, cz it didnt make sense to me :P)
1. A Thousand Spendid Suns
2. Kite Runner
3. If Tomorrow comes
4. Bartimaeus Triology :)




4 movies I can watch over and over again:
1. A walk to remember
2. RDB
3. Step Up 1,2
4. Lion King 1, 1 1/2, 3 :)


4 things I hope to do before I die:
1. Bungee Jumping , Scuba Diving
2. Buy my dream home, just like I had always imagined all my life :)
3. Visit all places on d 100 places to see before u die list
4. Feel impossibly, crazily, amazingly loved by a silly man I can always call my own.


4 people I want to tag:
Not tagging anyone. anyone who finds it interesting can do it, n leave a link in d comments. :)

- Annie.
P.S: Life is strange *grumbles*