Feb 27, 2009

Teri Yaadein...

Teri yaadein, mulakaatein, wo raatein aur baatein
Teri saansein, wo baahein, ab mujhko yaad aaye
Tere bina mera jiya, sataayein kyun piya
Yaadon ne teri mujhpe, ye jaadu kiya re

Teri saansein, wo baahein, ab mujhko yaad aaye
Wo adaaon ki ghatayen, mere dil ko chhu jaayen
Pyari hai duniya saari, maine hai tujhpe waari
Dil mein, mere dil ne tujhse, yaari ki baazi hari

Tere khayalon mein, khayalon mein…
Bas tum meri nigaahon mein, nigaahon mein…
Bas tum wapas aa jao, mere paas, tum sadaa, wapas aa jao
Mere paas, tum sadaa… suna mera jahan, bhoola main hu kahan

Jaane hai jaane jaan, tera rahoon, Piya…(piyaa)…
Wapas aa jao, mere paas, tum sadaa, wapas aa jao
Mere paas, tum sadaa… piya tera jiya… (piya tera jiya)
Piya tera jiya… (piya tera jiya)… tu hai kahan

Tera karuun intezaar, tu mere dil ka karaar
Itna hai aetbaar, manoonga na main bhi haar...

P.S : have been listening to this song on repeat.. n i cant stop the tears that are flowing. this is the worst nightmare i hav ever had. someone plz mak this stop.. before i disintegrate into nothingness...
P.P.S: (added later)
I m a lot better now guys!!! jus a word of thanks to all the people who were right there by my side all this while.. distances forgotten.. luv u grls a lot!!! i m the luckiest person on earth to hav u guys in my life!! Mwah!!!

Feb 23, 2009

8 Oscars For Slumdog!!! :)

I am watching wht is probably the biggest award show on earth - the oscars, n i m jus smiling like a fool. Slumdog has jus won 5 oscars so far, my fav musician has jus won back to back 2 oscars. *Best Original Score & Best Song (Jai Ho!!)*

WOW!!! with all the hype about an oscars, all the years that India pined for atleast one, here its a clean sweep of 5 so far!!!

I feel proud that I m Indian. It doesnt take an oscar for that but this just seems like added glitter. I feel proud that we touch souls like none another. I feel proud that inspite of all the difficulties, we smle. and make others smile too. I m grinning like a happy fool ryt now, and this is the best morning i hav awoken to in a long long time. :)

I feel like its an award that should hav come home long ago, because Indians know how to create magic on screen. esp, Rahman. but what do they say here in our homeland. the fruits of awaiting are always sweet. what say eh?

P.S : jus as i completed this, Slumdog won the 6th one!!!! best direction!!! WOW!!!! :)

And the 7th one too... :)

P.P.S : Allryt... making a perfect sweep.. we jus got the 8th one. - the best one of all.. BEST PICTURE!!! CAn it get any better??? :) :P :D

Feb 22, 2009

25 Random Things About Me...

I found this tag on quite a few blogs around here. U hav to list 25 random things abt u. heres my list. Time to know me up close n personal... lolz.

1. I name everything I own. Ok most people knew tht abt me, bt for the ones who are my virtual frnds- Mr. Lynx - my sexy DELL laptop, Ball-E Boski - My basketball. *wht? i named it whn i had jus fallen in love wid Wall-E* lots more. ill be dedicating a new post for dis.

2. I really really want to learn how to drive, bt my mom steadfastly refuses, sayin ill probably crash the minute i touch the sterring wheel. :D

3. I hate the way people say “Oh Flip!” “Oh Freak!” “Oh Fish!”.. n whtever other words beginning with ‘F’. WHAT THE ‘FUCK’. Just say it the way it was intended to. F. U. C. K. *rolls eyes!*

4. I hated my 21st Bday, i had spent months imagining how nice it will be, and mostly i cried secretly all day. :( so --> NEVER again am I going to look forward to my Bday.

5. I love singing Avril - Losing Grip, I'm wid u, Evanescence - Going Under, Call me whn ur sober, Christina - Beautiful, Rihanna - Take a bow, shut up n drive. I think I do a good job. :D

6. My mom was about to name me Asha. *shudders* However common my name might be, i like it way better than Asha. *no offence to any asha's* n btw, MOST of the people at college are under the impression that my name actually is 'Annie'. well i like it neway. :)

7. Top places on my list to visit are - Egypt, Greece, Seychelles, Holland, Alps.

8. I love SALE's. I get the most beautiful and otherwise expensive stuff all on sale. I jus get lucky grls. Deal. With. It. *snickers*

9. Ever since 1st year B. Tech, I have rarely worn heels. as opposed to me wearing heels all my lyf. I jus cant do widout flats and sneakers now.

10. Contrary to wht most juniors in college think, I have never played basketball before my 2nd year in college. I guess I m just born talented. eh?

11. I really really admire how some of the blogs i have stumbled across are done. The writers are thoughtful, intelligent, deep and so... young. Wow. i wish i was tht great whn i was in my teens.

12. My first wall-poster was of BSB *glares.. Yeah, so wht?? i was 13 for cryin out loud*

13. I love all Disney animated movies. N i hav got them all on orginal DVD's. U name it, i got it. My fav – Finding Nemo, Lion King – 1, 1 ½, 2 , Wall- E.

14. Inspite of me going to be a full time B.Tech Computers this summer, if i ever got to choose a career, i will continue teaching kids all my life. I love my part time job so much.

15. I hav a tendency of falling in love wid fictional characters. The first one i fell in love wid was Peter Pan, and the latest was Edward Cullen. Ahhh... *dreams*

16. I wanted to learn the drums, ended up wid guitar instead. *very cool, either way*

17. I want to learn Bengali someday. I think it’s a sexy language.

18. I rem the names of all teachers that hav taught me, and they rem me too, as I found out whn I visited school last tym. Guess I was jus too impossible to ignore. Hehe. :P

19. I blog only whn I have exams around the corner, or whn I hav something imp to complete. Like right now, I hav to make some question papers for my kiddo class. *sigh!*

20. I love the rain, walking on the beach at night, white lilies, all my soft toys, Ro, catching the city lights from atop the reclamation bridge, writing, the smell of the fresh paper, Pentium processors *u won’t believe how cool they are!!*, listening to songs in the dead of the night, singing in the shower whn I m happy, sketching whn I m thoughtful and… verbally abusing whn I m mad. *it calms me down. Lolz. :D*

21. The oldest piece of clothing I have got is this quilt that I have long out grown, bt is special for me cz my mom made it for me. I plan to get my kids to sleep wid the quilt someday.

22. I snore in a very funny way whn I sleep. I swear its embarrassing for me, bt Ro finds tht very cute. Weirdo. :O

23. I cling to memories often. I still hav movie tickets, bus train tickets, roses pressed between heavy books, some piece of papers, bills, broken keychains, sea shells, chocolate wrappers etc etc… I dunno if dats a bad habit, bt I feel a little afraid tht I might lose these precious memories someday.

24. I still eat my cream biscuits d way kids do. First I lick the cream n then throw away the biscuit. Lolz. I m kiddo, wht do I say?!

25. I am the whole wide range of Yahoo Smiley’s in person. All of them. My fav expressions are the hair tearing and the ROFL smiley’s. I carry them off to the hilt! Lolz. :P :D

P.S. : I know its very lame that I m doing all these tags, bt I LOVE them, and I m suffering from writers block. I cant think of a single interesting thing to write about!!! :(

Feb 17, 2009

LOvE tO LovE thEm!!!!! <3 <3 <3

I hav gone temporarily very mushy and teary eyd about the whole thing called Love. Maybe it’s the end of college or the recent Valentines Day. I am a sucker for tear jerker movies and books. I continually fall into love wid fictional characters and relationships. And here are my very very fav couples from fiction world…

P.S: Please tell me whch ones are ur all time fav love stories..

The first time i dreamt of love was whn i saw the Price Charmings in these movies. Cinderella, Beauty n the Beast, Alladin, Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, Snow White.. Ahhs the joys of childhood loves.

There wont be a single soul that would disagree wid me whn i say tht SRK n Kajol make the best couple always. though i m not a fan of SRK, he somehow is so.. perfect whn hes wid Kajol. My Personal Fav : KKHH, K3G, DDLJ.

Jodha Akbar is another of my fav couples. The chemistry in the movies, esp this scene, is simply AWESOME!!! :D

Forrest Gump and Jenny... The innocence of Forrest makes me fall in love wid this moie every single time i watch it. "Mama always tole me... life is a box of chocolates.." :)

The trains, The ghar-se-bhagke-shaadi, The brick house wid the roof missing in some places, the calender and the crosses on the days they had a row, The way Adi holds Suhani's hand as she almost dies... theres nothing to NOT like about this movie. My 2 fav scenes from my 2 fav songs from the movie.

Nancy Drew & Ned Nickerson were the first book couple i feel in love wid. The way they are cute widout being mushy brings them to this list.

Edward Cullen.. *Gasps. Faints.* & Bella Swan. Can they get any more perfect??? :P :D

Alice Cullen & Jasper Hale make it next. They are so balanced. *wonders in awe.* n so impossibly HOT together. like fire n ice.

Step Up 1 - Tyler and Nora. The Chemistry is to die for. Esp the scene on d rooftop. WOW. The Moves nearly damned drove everyone crazy. WOW!!

Step Up 2 - Andie & Chase - HOTTER, SEXIER, WOWER!!!! ;)

Can anyone argue wid the irresistable gorgeous-looks-million-dollar-smile charm of Jerry Maguire and the clumsy-yet-innocent charm of Dorothy in Jerry Maguire??? 'You Complete Me...' is the utimate thing to say to ur woman to make her urs. :)

City Of Angels - The lost puppy dog look on Seth's face whn he comes to Maggie's door, after turning human and dripping in the rain, scrathed up and bruised. Its to die for. :) With ofc, my FAV song playin in the background. 'I would give up forver to touch you... '

Jack n Rose - Everyone knows them , everyone loves them. Thers no need to describe in words. :)

Love Story _ Erich Segal. Jenny and Oliver. Impossible to describe. Too good to ever forget.

Sam and Molly in this supernatural movie 'Ghost' are one hot couple. The desperation with which he tries to make her believe that hes there... right in front of her, is hear breaking. And the last scene where he says 'See ya' whn he finally has to leave her and go.. is simply beyond words. *sob!*

Edward Lewis is the perfect businessman. Vivian is the feisty hooker with flaming hair and a big mouth *quite literally*. whn they meet, sparks fly. N voila.. my fav good boy - naughty grl pair on the list. ;)

Jai n Aditi... Best friend turned couple in the end. aww. :P

A Walk to Remember is my fav tear jerker movie on this list. Landon & Jamie are simply the perfect 17 year olds. In Love. :)

Ross and Rachael. No words. The getting together. The break up. The marriage. The break up., The Baby. The break up. The getting together. Can fate ever throw together a better example of 'opposites attract' ??

Monica and Chandler are the best live in couple i hav ever known. They are poles apart.. bt they are so perfect. The proposal scene , no matter how many times i see, always leaves me sniffing. :)

Phoebe and Mike make the goofy, loving, stupid, charming couple of the list. Its so nice when love gets u the perfect guy to handle all ur craziness, clumsiness and madness.. someone who doesnt make u perfect, bt comes along and makes himself perfect for u... awww....

One of the reviewers for the movie said that ''Every woman wanted to be Baby the summer the movie released" I know I did!!! Johnny Castle remains my all time fav dance teacher from ''Dirty Dancing". The climax scene had my imagination in an overdrive.. 'I had the time of my life...'

Last bt MY ULTIMATE COUPLE of the list are...
Wall E n Eve.
Absolutely no words to express hw perfect they are.
There WERE no words in the movie, bt i think everyone got the message no? :)

Feb 14, 2009

TAG v.2

Ok found this tag on a lovely blog I jus came across. Sounded fun so I did it. N besides the ones mentioned at the bottom, I m passing on this tag to whoever finds this fun too!!! Psst.. I have 3 MORE tags coming up soon. Lolz. I LOVE TAGS!!! :)

I am : nothing if not creative. A dreamer. compulsive shopper. obsessive lover.
I think : almost never before I do anythng. I m the sort who jump into situations with both feet in first. Lolz.
I know : that I need to lose weight soon. STOP TELLING ME!!!! :
I want : to throw out a majority of my old clothes and buy an entire new wardrobe.
I have : an inbuilt radar tht picks up hidden relationships. no use tryin to hide feeling for someone in front of me. I’ll know the moment the name is out of ur mouth. :P
I wish : Ro pampered me more. I mean he does, bt sometimes he misses the point..completely. n since he looks so genuinely lost.. wid those big brown eyes, I dun feel like cribbin further. *sigh!!!*
I hate : feeling alone and left out.
I miss : Dingo *sniff!*
I fear : abt my career a lot these days. *shudders..*
I hear : the tick-tock of the wall clock. since its so silent ryt now late in the night.
I smell : of mint n lavender n Freeman's Strawberry shampoo. Nice innit?
I crave : chocolate mousse. for dat matter nethng wid chocolate in it.
I search : inner peace. hav been disheveled a lot lately. from the inside.
I wonder : how some of the people around blogsville write such deep beautiful things. truly remarkable.
I regret : nothing. I think evrythng teaches us something, no matter hw bad or good, eh?
I love : Ro, my frnds, all kitties in the world, chocolate, music, basketball, d kiddo's I teach...Ah.. u got me started. this is an infinite list... :D
I ache : when me n Ro hav shouting matches. or whn he doesnt make up for a mistake. or whn I say somethng tht hurts him. :(
I was not : very fond of Bollywood movies. ever.
I am not : studyin!!! ARGHH!!! *tears out hair in frustration*
I cry : a lot. emotional fool dat I m. Tear ducts hav a tendency of goin into overdrive often …
I believe : in karma.
I dance : whnever I feel lik it. whnevr I hear a good dancin number. :)
I sing : english songs a lot. Ro says I rock at english but I cant sing hindi.. I think I dun suck quite tht much wid hindi.*HmpH!!*
I read : anything I can lay my hands on - fiction/ nonfiction, newspapers, magazines, Wikipedia.. u name it.
I don't always : talk. contrary to popular opinion. sometimes I hav been known to retreat into sudden silences.
I fight : with a spectacular array of cuss-words. lolz. thts me. cant help it. :D
I write : whnever I can. whtever I want to. specifically for me.
I win : all housie games I hav ever played. strange no??
I lose : my mind whn things dun go as I want thm to. n then I yell.
I never : hav tea.
I always : have coffee.
I confuse : fiction wid reality quite often.
I listen : to whtever sounds good to my ears. if my ears dun like wht they hear, I immediately zone out... n u wont even know!!
I can usually be found : wid Ro in college, listening to music otherwise.
I am scared : of being deserted by people who I care about.
I need : a new phone!!!! n a new wardrobe!!! n some free weeks to spend wid Ro. I simply dun hav the tym for either of the things!! *sigh!*
I am happy : Whn I write, read, laugh, smile, whnever I m wid Ro, havin a grly nyt out, on long drives, whn I eat good food, whnever I see a good movie.... lots to mention...
I imagine: that you would be bored of reading this by now. but neway me tagging the following super cool people --> *drum roll plz…*

Mona Varu Zai *something to revive up the dead blogs*
Karan *cz he seems to dislike tags..hehe*
Gargi *cz I like the lady a lot!!! :)*
Seno n Ami *cz I m sure the babes will hav awesome answers.. :)*
N d rest of ILMB gals.. *cuz u rock!!!!*

Feb 1, 2009


The lights were blinding, as he walked onto stage. The morphine hit he just had, wasn’t enough to make him truly high, but it was enough to make him feel like he was treading air. He heard the cheer of the crowd… the clap.… the chanting and the whistles. It all sounded like it was coming from a badly tuned radio.

Just another night. Just another performance. The song was the one he had sung in every other college fest. And the crowd always cheered. Some girl was always there, falling over herself, begging to be taken home when the night ended. Some punk with the shifty eyes, was always there to get him his shots. He walked up to the old fashioned mike, ready to sing the song he knew that everyone will sing along to, because everyone knew it by heart.

He looked at his band. The familiar faces. His oldest friend, since 2nd grade, Mads. His anchor for these last years, Lavanya. His college buddies Shaurya and Ryan. They were always together, there was always an easy camaraderie. No one knew how empty he really was.

He heard Anya give out the call. “And.. 5, 6, 7, 8.” He took a deep breath, much like the one a diver took before he plunged. Everytime he got on stage he felt like he had a timeout. A time away from his own private hell. His own demons. He looked at the people who cheered them on, his lips lifting in a half smile.

And then he saw her.

And everything he had tried so hard to forget all these last few years, came crashing back as of it had never disappeared in the first place at all.

He tried hard to push the memories that were coming back. Everything seemed to be suddenly moving in slow motion. Like a radio tuned out, the voices drowned into nothingness as other voices took over. The ones inside his head.

It felt like ages when it hadn’t even been seconds. He heard Anya give the call again, this time a note of urgency in her husky voice. He closed his eyes and willed the song inside him to come. Willed the illusion he had just seen to clear out before he fell in the dark abyss of the memories again.

Teri ya meri ya pull gaya…
Pull gaya haar te jeet…
Aei mae ki karna mein jeet nu…
Hove naje meet…
Hove naje meet…”

It was perfect. The crowd cheered an octave higher. As always. Everyone loved the song. But never had he actually felt it… the meaning of the words he had sang a million times. This time the words couldn’t have seemed more ironic. He had everything in the world. Except for her. Except for his meet.

Bindiya lagati toh… kaapti thi palken Maeri…

In a flash he was years back in time. He saw her eyes, as clear as yesterday. Bottomless brown pools, kind and trusting. That unique shade of brown that held his heart captive like nothing else ever had.. nothing else ever will.. Had it really been that long? Those beautiful eyes on that innocent heart-shaped face, betraying all emotion she ever felt?

Chunniya sajake woh deti vaadein kalke Maeri...

Her smile… that had lit up the cold lonely days of his life. Making him whole. Her smile had crept slowly into his heart, unnoticed, and had worked its magic, slowly thawing away at the cold ice around his heart. 

Mere haaton mein tha uska haath… thi chaashni si har uski baat…

Her words, a lovers caress, gentle. Simple. Pure. Somedays when she would cradle his head, and gently stroke his hair while he hummed a tune. He spent every waking moment of his life now, yearning, to hear that voice just once. One more time.

Maeri aap hi hasdi …Maeri aap hi rondi
Maeri yaad woh yaad woh aaeri
Gallaon kardi …maeri ankhan naal lad di…
maeri yaad woh yaad woh aaeri.. 
heyy Maeri

Baarishon mein lipat ke maa… ati thi woh chalke… Maeri…

Another flash. The picture seemed so clear and bright…like it was just yesterday. Everything looked perfect, that day on the terrace, on that late afternoon in July. The rain, the way her white salwar kameez had clung to her body. The dark curls of her hair dripping tiny drops of water. The odd feeling of cold rain against his back, and something searing hot inside him as they had kissed for the very first time. A moment now.. but it was enough to make him feel like someone had put a knife right through the part of his heart where it hurt the most.

Deeriyan ho jaye to roti halke halke… Maeri…

The tears that had silently rolled down her eyes the last time they had met. Inspite of the piercing sadness.. she had looked so beautiful, it had taken his breath away..

Phir se mein royu phir woh gaye… thandi havayein banke chaye…

His eyes still remained closed. Making everything he heard sound clearer, better. More profound. He heard her laughter now. And felt his heart clench one more time.

Maeri heeran o gaan di… Maeri geede o paundi… Maeri yaad woh yaad woh aaeri...

Jannata langdi maeri mannata mangdi … Maeri yaad woh yaad woh aaeri…
Ab kya karun kahan se kahun aa Maeri… ab kya karun kahaaan se kahunn aa Maeri…

He didn’t open his eyes, while someone played the haunting strings now. The invisible hand seemed to have found the lifeless heart after all. The pain seemed to build up, each moment a little stronger than the last.

Duniya parayi chod ke aaja …Jhoothe sare naate tod ke aaja…

The betrayed.. wounded look in her eyes. As he had walked away with strong purposeful strides. Never once looking back. She had left everything for him without a care in the world, and he had walked away just like that. So simply. So crudely. Never offered any reason. Never turned back to see if she would survive it. Would she listen now?

Sau rabdi tujhe ek vari aajaa.. Ab ke mile to honge na juda..

That unique feeling of being in her arms. Never again had he felt so warm and so secure. So shielded..so protected. The way he felt like braving any shit that the world threw at him, just because he knew she was there. Always.

Na juda na juda aaa oooo … Ho hun te o aaye koi kidde aaye

maeri yaad woh yaad woh aaeri

gallan o kardi … maeri akhan naal lad di…
maeri yaad woh yaad woh aaeri…”

Bhul gayi mera pyar…mae bas lage mahine chaar
maeri yaad woh yaad woh aaeri yaad woh aayimaeri yaad woh aayi
maeri yaad woh yaad woh aaeri

The pain in his chest was excruciating enough to kill. He could not take it anymore. Maybe death was the easy way out too. It felt like some forbidden old box was opened that was meant to be shut forever. And he couldn’t handle the way life was mocking him right now.

Ab kya karun kahan se kahun aa Maeri
Ab kya karun kahan se kahunn aa Maeri

The memories were drowning him and like the victim of the brute seas.. he felt helpless. Flailing his arms , struggling to keep up his balance, to maintain his senses. All the time realising it was no use, because no matter how much he struggled… he will never be able to forget the beautiful face that haunted every moment of his life.

The crowd was cheering at the highest pitch possible. The radio, tuned off, suddenly seemed to clear away. Making the crowd’s cheering seem loud and harsh. The crowd called for encore. Everything had gone good. No one knew what had transpired inside his mind. No one saw what he had seen inside his mind. All was well.

He opened his eyes.

And she was not there anymore.

He didn’t know whether it was blind relief that washed over him or cold loneliness as he turned slowly and walked off stage. Back to what he was every night.

Lost. Confused. Lonely.


A nobody.


P.S : In one of my late night song listening session. ‘Maeri’ has always been a song close to my heart. And the story…. :)