ChrIstMas Day.N i M sO buMMed.. :(

So far many ppl have complained that I carried my previous “TRAIN” posts for long. Apologies. At the end I hope u guys had a good read. That was chapter of my lyf that will always remain one of the fondest. Moving on let me recap the recent events.

Starting wid my bday which I would actually want to pass over cuz it sucked.. Big time. So lets chuck that. Well, after that disastrous bday, some really sweet *albeit forgetful* friends of mine, decided that I needed some heavy duty pampering. Since I was in a pissed off mood, I didn’t get the chance to appreciate their efforts. Appreciation for a task well done, is something I keep telling everyone, advising to keep up the compliments and praises, so that the other person gets inspired to do even better. It works like charm wid the kids. So here it is. My thank you note to ppl who made up for the day long gone *in order of how soon they did it*.…

Ro - *I was so mad at everything in general tht day, tht I didn’t thank you at all. Whatever you did, was thoughtful. Thanks.*

All the gals at ILMB -- *I love u guys … thank u so much for everything u have done for me.. MWAH!!!!*

Pranita, Monica & Shilpa -- *u guys are Charlie‘s angels…N I m Charlie.. Lolzz.. Thanks a lot. The Music that u gave me, will play forever, wherever I go, and it will always make me smile…*

Mona -- *If there’s anyone who missed my bday and GENUINELY felt rotten about it, it was you. I didn’t really get mad at you, u know. I knew u were busy. But for a moment there I felt like u were in a car, slowly driving away, as I simply stood there, unable to do anything. Thanks for coming back, and taking me along… in the wooden car.. Mwah!!*

Karan -- *Free Pizza never tasted better, and a gift never seemed so thoughtful. Thank you.*

Abha, Ketki & Rids -- *there was nuthin u guys cud hav done for me on my bday, I knew tht… but the best post-gift I got came from u guys. Thanks a lot for the efforts u took. And thanks a lot for reuniting all 5 of us again, in a memory that will last for a lifetime.*

Hmmmm…. I think I ran out of names here… though I still wish u mention a few ppl here whose wishes meant a lot - Binu, Sidd, Nisarg, Ugam. I think that about it all. If u are nowhere on this list… u FORGOT, and someone *in most cases ME* had to remind you.

After the bday thing passed, there came the trip. To this really beautiful place called Bhandardara. Nestled in the sahyadri’s, this is a dam (Wilson Dam) on the banks of a river. And awesome it is. It was a slice of heaven. The cold clear water, the nip in the air, the jeep rides around the village, the waterfalls and the stay up in the dorms. It was beautiful.

The spectacular sunset I saw deserves special mention here. Along with the swim in the icy water of the lake, which actually was quite dangerous, as there was a steep drop in the lake after just a couple of meters in the lake. But we played in the water near the banks. And it was awesome fun.

All the refreshment and the excitemnt came to a screeching halt a few hours later, as we got the results. And I have been in a pretty off mood ever since, until I started to write this down *cuz playing the CD made my KASPAR made me smile again*. For the first time in my life I have got a KT. And It sucks.

I am so lost, I feel … ashamed in away to go back to the same class, cuz almost everyone there is a star in their own right. They all are studious, straight A students, and that leaves me in a limbo, which is a bitch of a place to be stuck in. *sarcastic smile*

My friends, the ones I have made in these last few weeks and months, and some other who stayed since the beginning… I feel like I am out of place with them, because they don’t deserve to be with me. The dew drop , the moon, the attitude and the everything, they trouble me the most, because I know, no matter what I do, I will never be able to match up to them. I feel as if by being with them, I malign them in someway, make them lesser ppl, than what they really are.

My mind is all fucked up. I haven’t been calling anyone as of late. And blogging is my only solace. I dun even feel like getting started on the fucking ACN, cuz I know it will bore me to death, cuz it is something so UNinteresting. I have spent my day surfing around, writing some new stuff that
I plan to post soon. And suddenly as I AM writing this I am realizing, that this is what I do - write. This is the only thing I know. I m not the best, but that’s all I have. At the end of the day, when I feel friendless and lonely, this is where I turn to.. God!! Wish I could do this all day. I would never be as unhappy as I am now.

In the afternoon, I was toying wid the idea of making my blog look more attractive, and I spent quite a bit of time, and went down to the webpage code, and finally SUCCEEDED in this. I am working on some other stuff. *turns out I CAN mange a bit of coding eh? * but anyway, the feeling so success can be such a boost. Wish I had even an iota of success at ACN.

Signing off.. With a mood that’s bad, mad, sad
Annie..