Nov 17, 2009

A Chat.

*pulls at hair in frustration*

Calm down wild child! Take a deep breath. Yes thats good. Now talk.Why are you so upset? What is it that is making you so miserable right now? And what can be done to make you happy?

He makes me happy. And he makes me sad. Jerk! *grumbles*

Stop kidding yourself, be serious. What do you want?

Can I say him? *please?*

Annie. Serious.

Ok. O.K. Ohkay!
I am happy with my life. I like it the way it is, I love my job and I love my friends. Sometimes I dont love myself, but thats ok, because I have friends who make up for all that lost love. *trailing away* Actually come to think about it.. its not that bad. Infact Im awesome!! I love this. What am I doing???!! I should be partying!!! Woooohooo!!! *gets crazy*

You can fool everyone. You cant fool me. You can lie and create this beautiful illusion of everything so perfect and everything so 'awesome', a dream like place where everyone is happy with their life and noone has any problems. But you know I see through all of it. You are always fixing things and you always want to make everything happy around you and least on that list is you. Tell me Im wrong.

*looks here and there*
Errr... Ok now this is getting heavy-duty. I HATE heavy-duty talking and you know that right?

You hate seriousness, the reality. You hate facing situations you rather run away from.

No! NO! *throws a shoe*

Why are you still friends with him? When you know its hurting you to know everyday, every moment that he cant be more than what he is?

*defiant now*
Because he makes me happy. Fullstop. Stop glaring at me you idiot. He really does. Talking about the silliest of all things and laughing about the lamest of all jokes, makes me happy! Dont you see?? Only I decide who makes me sad, and because he is so important to me that he has that right. Its ok. Ill grow out of it.

You have to let him go. You cant make people stay when they dont want to. Having feelings for someone who doesnt have them back is a path for nothing but hurt and you know that.

I cant.

You can, its just that you dont WANT to right now. You have to allow yourself to make the difficult choice. It will hurt but it will be fine after a while. Atleast you get to keep a wonderful friend. You have to let him go, let the feelings you have for him go. Put them away, erase, format your head.

Dont rush me. I will do it in my own time. I will be fine. Stop fussing over me like I was a kid or something!!!
And you know that forgetting aint happening. Anytime soon atleast.
*narrows eyes*

But dear girl, you are a child. You dont see that loneliness is going to catch up with you, no matter how hard you run. It is going to come and find you no matter how much and where you try to hide.

I have friends who will never let me be lonely.

You can be surrounded by a crowd and still be all alone. You that very well dont you? And you know there are only 2 people in the world who know when your faking it all. And its yourself and me. You cant fool me and you have to come back to me at the end of the day. What will you do when you will look around and find noone but me?

Ill deal with it the day it comes ok?
Let me continue in my bliss till that day comes and right now,

P.S: Oh dear lord!! Im not even 22 and I already have MPD!


buckingfastard said...

man o man!! its rare to see sooo much luv in real life...

frankly dis guy is missin out on lot of love...

btw hii annie's alter-ego!!

"da world's most sensibl persn nd biggest idiot both stay in us...worst part is u cant evn tel who is who"

-one of very few gud quotes in not so gud '2 States-Chetan Bhagat'

Arslan said...

It's a sad fact that knowing what must be done doesn't make doing it any easier.

Loosen the grip and try to hold on to something new! :)

Nice post..

Akansha Agrawal said...

I could've written this entire thing... *sigh!* It's the same, same with me... :|

Soin said...

for sane person point of view..rubbish .. but from a human view this is so natural.. want that wont i can only

Destiny's child... said...

The person speaking in the green font is a wise soul :)

IceMaiden said...



N Annies Alter-Ego is REALLY boring! TRUST ME :P :D

And true words seriously.. :)

Hi! Seeing you here after a long time.
Im trying! Real hard! :) Sacchi!


IceMaiden said...


:) *sigh!*


Yes I know.. :)

@Destinys Child,

And my alter ego smirks at that sentence :P ;) I can be really foolish and wise at the same time sometimes :D :D Weird I am yeah! :)


bliss said...

how come i can relate to every word u wrote here??? oh boy, this is crazy. although i am past that phase, i still wonder shud i have told that friend back then what i felt for him. i guess i am gonna have this thought forever now.... i wudnt want u to end up in same spot! gudluck annie!
P.S. u have talked abt it all so much, its a wonder he doesnt know already!!!!

IceMaiden said...


Awww! Ofc he knows!!! :P Thanks to my over enthusiastic friends and err.. my blog (read: over sharing me :P) And he wants to 'Lets just remain friends' which makes me incredibly sad and ARRRGHHH!!! at the same time.

Which is why I was having this conversation with my (boring)alter-ego :D

I dont know what situation did you and ur frnd end up in, but i know no matter how crazy I get we will always be best friends. :) So i DO get to keep him forever :)


Da Rodent said...


go through it. makes you stronger.

IceMaiden said...

@Da Rodent,

That actually worked!!! :)
Thanks! :)

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