Dec 29, 2008

Its that time of the year again...

hey there. the year is drawing to a close, and its time to get nostalgic.. its the time again to call up all the party goers, and make plans for "the most happenin 31st Party ever".. and its also the time to get down with ur writing pad, and jot down NEW new year resolutions.. and try hard to keep the familiar "u-couldnt-do-it-last-time-wht-makes-u-think-u-can-do-it-this-time" thought outta ur mind...lolzz.. still, making new year resolutions, is a tradition in itself.. and as i was goin thru my writings, i stumbled upon this.. my LAST year resolution sheet. lets see how i have fared in these... n then maybe the next post will be dedicated to NEW year resolutions.. :)


*** Things to do in 2008’ ***

Ø Cry less & Smile more...

(hmm... this one.. was successful about 50%...)

Ø Learn to be on my own… I am good enough on my own n I don’t need anyone to make me happy.

(this was successful too..)

Ø Study hard… do as many GRE cards as possible every day…

(the fact tht its my GRE tomorrow, and i havent got a clue abt wht i m going to do 2mrw.. shud do the talking for this one!!!)

Ø Learn to play one new sport.(maybe lawn tennis)

(it was hard enough stayin in touch wid my old sport - basketball... hehe)

Ø Spend an hour on my PC writing. Anything that I like… maintain a diary.

(this was probably the only thing on this list i did... n i m feeling very good about it.. the blog stands testimony to "all the writing".. :) )

Ø Treat myself to 1 new book every weekend.

(every weekend to nahi... bt i buy myself a lot of books this year... )

Ø Keep a record of all the expenses done each day...

(FAILED...n u dun even wanna know wht the expenses add upto... :P )

Ø Spend more time with the kids… read up on new things to teach.

Ø Hang out with my friends more.(abha ketki rids CC’s)

(hmm... maybe... 50-50)

Ø Swim a lot

(didnt even get NEAR a sports club...let alone swimmming..)

Ø Regularly go to the gym… lose a lot of weight.

(FAILED...big time... i think i put on another 10 kgs of weight.... *sob sob*)

Ø Learn to drive.

(my mom told me "ur a kid... wht do u wanna learn drivin for??" n refused to pay for mydriving its nt my mistake i failed in this one... lolzz)

Ø Take dance classes (somewhere mid year)

(i feel like laughing on this one... it slipped outta my head, jus as soon as i completed making the resolutions...seriously i m rememberin it now... :P )

Ø buy a nice digicam. (mom is still working on my application to buy a nice digicam.. i think i shud stop making unrealistic resolutions...)

Ø Stop taking the rik n start taking the bus… saves unnecessary expenses.

(seriously dunno if i followed this... 50-50 here also..)

Ø Cut down on non – vegetarian food.

(yeah i did tht...*sooobbbb*)

Ø Get a tattoo

(i SO regret not doing this... this passes on to new year resolution...)

Ø Get a swanky new haircut.

(yeah i did this...effects were very interesting...hehe..)

Ø Ask for a new MP3 player.

(i asked. i got. i gifted. to Ro. thts done.)

so.. i am having mixed feeling abt how i fared on this. lemme get started in new year resolutions now.. cya later. new post coming up soon...:)


Dec 25, 2008

ChrIstMas Day.N i M sO buMMed.. :(

So far many ppl have complained that I carried my previous “TRAIN” posts for long. Apologies. At the end I hope u guys had a good read. That was chapter of my lyf that will always remain one of the fondest. Moving on let me recap the recent events.

Starting wid my bday which I would actually want to pass over cuz it sucked.. Big time. So lets chuck that. Well, after that disastrous bday, some really sweet *albeit forgetful* friends of mine, decided that I needed some heavy duty pampering. Since I was in a pissed off mood, I didn’t get the chance to appreciate their efforts. Appreciation for a task well done, is something I keep telling everyone, advising to keep up the compliments and praises, so that the other person gets inspired to do even better. It works like charm wid the kids. So here it is. My thank you note to ppl who made up for the day long gone *in order of how soon they did it*.…

Ro - *I was so mad at everything in general tht day, tht I didn’t thank you at all. Whatever you did, was thoughtful. Thanks.*

All the gals at ILMB -- *I love u guys … thank u so much for everything u have done for me.. MWAH!!!!*

Pranita, Monica & Shilpa -- *u guys are Charlie‘s angels…N I m Charlie.. Lolzz.. Thanks a lot. The Music that u gave me, will play forever, wherever I go, and it will always make me smile…*

Mona -- *If there’s anyone who missed my bday and GENUINELY felt rotten about it, it was you. I didn’t really get mad at you, u know. I knew u were busy. But for a moment there I felt like u were in a car, slowly driving away, as I simply stood there, unable to do anything. Thanks for coming back, and taking me along… in the wooden car.. Mwah!!*

Karan -- *Free Pizza never tasted better, and a gift never seemed so thoughtful. Thank you.*

Abha, Ketki & Rids -- *there was nuthin u guys cud hav done for me on my bday, I knew tht… but the best post-gift I got came from u guys. Thanks a lot for the efforts u took. And thanks a lot for reuniting all 5 of us again, in a memory that will last for a lifetime.*

Hmmmm…. I think I ran out of names here… though I still wish u mention a few ppl here whose wishes meant a lot - Binu, Sidd, Nisarg, Ugam. I think that about it all. If u are nowhere on this list… u FORGOT, and someone *in most cases ME* had to remind you.

After the bday thing passed, there came the trip. To this really beautiful place called Bhandardara. Nestled in the sahyadri’s, this is a dam (Wilson Dam) on the banks of a river. And awesome it is. It was a slice of heaven. The cold clear water, the nip in the air, the jeep rides around the village, the waterfalls and the stay up in the dorms. It was beautiful.

The spectacular sunset I saw deserves special mention here. Along with the swim in the icy water of the lake, which actually was quite dangerous, as there was a steep drop in the lake after just a couple of meters in the lake. But we played in the water near the banks. And it was awesome fun.

All the refreshment and the excitemnt came to a screeching halt a few hours later, as we got the results. And I have been in a pretty off mood ever since, until I started to write this down *cuz playing the CD made my KASPAR made me smile again*. For the first time in my life I have got a KT. And It sucks.

I am so lost, I feel … ashamed in away to go back to the same class, cuz almost everyone there is a star in their own right. They all are studious, straight A students, and that leaves me in a limbo, which is a bitch of a place to be stuck in. *sarcastic smile*

My friends, the ones I have made in these last few weeks and months, and some other who stayed since the beginning… I feel like I am out of place with them, because they don’t deserve to be with me. The dew drop , the moon, the attitude and the everything, they trouble me the most, because I know, no matter what I do, I will never be able to match up to them. I feel as if by being with them, I malign them in someway, make them lesser ppl, than what they really are.

My mind is all fucked up. I haven’t been calling anyone as of late. And blogging is my only solace. I dun even feel like getting started on the fucking ACN, cuz I know it will bore me to death, cuz it is something so UNinteresting. I have spent my day surfing around, writing some new stuff that
I plan to post soon. And suddenly as I AM writing this I am realizing, that this is what I do - write. This is the only thing I know. I m not the best, but that’s all I have. At the end of the day, when I feel friendless and lonely, this is where I turn to.. God!! Wish I could do this all day. I would never be as unhappy as I am now.

In the afternoon, I was toying wid the idea of making my blog look more attractive, and I spent quite a bit of time, and went down to the webpage code, and finally SUCCEEDED in this. I am working on some other stuff. *turns out I CAN mange a bit of coding eh? * but anyway, the feeling so success can be such a boost. Wish I had even an iota of success at ACN.

Signing off.. With a mood that’s bad, mad, sad

Dec 24, 2008

TRAIN - Part 5

Next morning I awoke, even before he came to wake me up. Some shrill sound had broken in my sleep, like I was discovering groggy eyed as I sat up, had broken in everyone’s sleep. Mr. Obnoxious alarm was crazy. Loud and crazy. I immediately looked over to his berth, and there he was awake like me, looking straight at me, I was suddenly very conscious of how I looked. He smiled , and said “Morning. Some alarm huh? ” I laughed and said “No one can sleep through that...”, starting to get down from my bunk.

We were up and ready in half hour, and we walked out near the door. He was about to leave in a matter of minutes, and I still hadn’t figured a way to stay in contact. Damn me. Then suddenly it stuck me - what the hell was the use of email if not here? As the train pulled into the station, I began “Listen if -”

He turned, and took a step back instead of going forward. There was a line of people waiting to get down, and he let them pass. The narrow passage was crowded of people, and the next thing I knew, was that I was standing close enough to see every fleck of gold in those brown eyes. It nearly damned brought my heart to a screeching halt. He looked very shy, as he said “I can get down at Hyderabad too.”

I gave him a broad smile. This was going to be easy. If these weren’t the signs then I didn’t know what else were.

We went in again, to get my suitcase. There were less than 5 people in the entire coach. We were standing near the door again when he said anxiously “Listen, don’t get me wrong, but when you are staying here, if you need anything, info or anything about places to visit, you could call me.”

“I don’t have your number” I said smilingly. I tore the last page of my diary and divided it in half. On one part I wrote my email id on it and gave it to him. He wrote his number on the other part and gave me. I could actually feel the floating sensation in my tummy. In that moment I decided to stay in contact. Always. There were a lot of maybe’s in my head. Maybe this would happen. Maybe that will. Maybe...

The train came to a grounding halt at the station. We both got down. Looking at each other, I couldn’t believe that this was someone I had met only a few hours back. He smiled and said “I had a lot of fun talking to you. It was very nice to meet you , you know. ” I shook hands with him and replied “Same here. Stay in touch, ok? I’ll call if I need anything ok?” he nodded, and pointing to the direction over his back he said “I go this way ok? Where u headed to?” “My Bhaiya‘s driver must be waiting outside.” I looked around for an exit sign and said “I go this way.” half disappointed that I had to go the opposite way, and half happy because I had his number, I smiled a little and started to pick up my suitcase.

“Should I drop you till there?” I didn’t know if my Bhaiya was to come to pick me up or not, so I told him No.

As I started to walk away he said “Heyy..”

I turned and looked at him, with a questioning glance “hmm?”

“You talk too much.” we both laughed. He added “Don’t change that about you, ok?”

I smiled and said , “You got it. Bbye.”



We walked in two opposite directions, that cold March morning that year. And you know wht? I never did call him up. I reached home, had a wonderful stay, checked my email. He had sent me a mail barely 2 hours after we had parted. Like I had asked him on the train, he had even sent some pictures of him with his silver-red fighter plane, and another with him in complete army uniform. He looked, if possible, even more gorgeous than I remembered from just a few hours back. I sent a thank you and reached safely sort of email to him.

But along with the mail, was a mail from my ex, begging me to forgive him, and take him back. Which I did. It ended soon afterward anyway, but at that time, he was a very important part of my life. So amidst all this, I didn’t reply to any of the further mails that he sent to me. Which were quite a few. After some weeks, the mails stopped. And after some months, he was forgotten.

Till now, when I started to write this down. I took out my old diaries and reading the entries of a 17 year old girl in them, made all the memories come flooding back. One of my friends, when I told her about this incident before I started to write it here, asked me, why didn’t u guys stay in touch? Maybe it could have lead somewhere.

To which I replied, if it would have happened, I would have discovered something not so perfect about him. Something I wanted to change or didn’t like. Something that wouldn’t be right. But because I didn’t know him further, he is perfect. Just as he met me that day in the train, because that memory of him wont change ever. Hes probably happy someplace now, with a wife and kids, and I m just a 21 year old, with changed views and changed ideals. Life is good. And because I never stayed in touch, he remains as one of my fondest memory...

Maybe we parting ways the way we did, on the platform that morning, was the best ending there could have been for our story. :)

Dec 23, 2008

TRAIN - Part 4

“My name is Rohit. I stay in Secunderabad. Are you from Mumbai?” *tht name is real. I didn’t make that up*

“Ya, I m from Mumbai. And my name is Anita.” *ya back then, I gave out my real name on chat too.. But this guy seemed so polite, that the fact that he might be a crook, didn’t even cross my mind*

“So, how old are you?” he asked, quieting closing his book, as if settling for a long chat.. *I already had eyes the shape of hearts… he had the most buttery voice.*

“I m 17. In junior college. Studying science. Computers”

He took a double take. “Wow, you are 17, you don’t look 17. And science huh? Cool.”

“So what about you? Do you stay in Secunderabad? What do you do?” I rested my head on my hands, with elbows propped up, as I looked at him.

It was my turn to have a double take now. 
“Ya, I stay here. I m 23. And I'm in the IAF, fighter pilot.” He smiled.

Yes. I was as surprised as you are. And he was not bluffing. Just read on and you will know why. I was immediately like “Oh WOW.. That is SO cool.” I scrambled up and sat cross legged on my seat.

“Just returning from training in Lonavala. ” Since it was not possible for him to sit up in his seat, because it was the last berth, he just straightened a little bit.. *ahh, those shoulders… WOW*

“OMG. Tht is like the coolest thing you can do with your life. Become a fighter pilot. Are you guys like the one in Top gun? Can you tell me about G‘s n all?” I was rambling. But I was so freaking awestruck. Now that explained his army sort of clothes and aviator glares. I thought it was like the latest fad or something.

He laughed and said, catching on a bit of my excitement, “Hey u know what G‘s are? And yeah it is a little bit like Top Gun, but it’s a lot harder in reality. And btw, tht IS my fav movie. ”

Ultimately at the end of it all, we stayed up till late talking. About anything and everything.

We talked about how he grew up, his family, how he was from Haryana originally. We talked about my school, college, my friends. We talked about our sun signs, what we liked to do most when we are free, which movies, which songs, which books.

He told me about how amazing he felt high up in air and I told him how I very much want to be a writer someday. “Arent you already one? You have been writing ever since I have been on the train”, he said, as we sat talking outside near the door of the train, in the chilling night air.

“Were u observing me?” I asked laughing.

“No.. I was actually - maybe - No. I think you already are a writer.” he finished smiling. He added quietly “I just thought that u have the most beautiful eyes.” right then, I felt the shiest I had ever felt in my entire 17 years of life. Damn, even now as I'm writing this, I cannot remember one single instance that I had felt THAT shy..

“So, where will u be staying in Hyd?” he asked after the moment passed.

“Banjara Hills. That’s all I know. ” I wished I knew more. Somehow I didn’t quite want the meeting to end.

“Wow, that’s posh.” he didn’t say anything further, just looked out at the rushing landscape, cloaked in black.

I stood up and said “It's getting really late now. We better sleep. I have no idea what will I do…” I trailed off.

“Why? What happened?” he stood beside me, looking so tall and handsome, that I almost forgot what I wanted to say next.

“Umm.. I NEVER wake early in the morning, unless mom wakes me up. Who will wake me up tomorrow? ” I frowned. I was seriously worried. I wasn’t just making small talk. “What if you don’t wake up at the last station? Does someone come and wake you up? Where does the train go after the last station? It cant just stop there, huh?”

He laughed again softly, “Man, you talk so much” *I blushed and immediately shut up* “Don’t worry. When I’ll wake up in the morning, I'll wake u up. Ok?”

“Thanks. Good night.” I smiled as I we reached near our seats. We looked at each other and smiled. *I could almost HEAR the goddamn crackles of electricity. Grrr… wish I had been a little older. Right then I felt like a school girl.*

“Goodnight.” he said as he started to climb to his berth. I climbed up to mine, and settled in. I
wasn’t sleepy. From he looks of it nor was he.

He whispered “The guy didn’t give you blanket huh? Here, take mine.”

“Thank you so much.” I said relieved, I wont be freezing to death after all. I took it. It even smelled of him *I swear I was not loony. It smelled like musk.*

I laid awake for a long time. Listening to the train moving. I didn’t want this meeting to end. You know how you are at 17. You start dreaming about things that may happen. In all innocence you forget that sometimes, most of the times, things don’t always go as planned. I wanted to keep in touch, know him further, get close to him. He was like so… perfect. I think I was already half in love with his perfect army man. You know how you felt *girls I mean* when u saw Tom cruise in Top Gun, or Richard Gere in An officer and A Gentleman. I was head over heels in an instant. No man could ever be more perfect. Ahh…The joys of being young and innocent. I feel asleep with thoughts swirling in my head and a smile on my face.

...last post coming soon.... :)

Dec 21, 2008

TRAIN - Part 3

As the evening progressed, people around me started having their dinners, some dudes from the train dept, came to hand out blankets and pillows *they forgot to giv me blankets, and gave me 4 pillows instead… the idiots!! * & the AC was making me feel shit cold. And I was still writing in that diary of mine, this time writing about the strange mix of fellow passengers.

In the very last cubicle of the train coach was this group of ladies, who got on at Lonavala, and were sleeping ever since. I wondered if they were drunk or something. How can anyone sleep for THAT long. On the seat next to my cubicle was this loud, obnoxious man, who kept talking n talking n talking… to people who he didn’t even know. Crazy!!! And the seat diagonally left, was the gorgeous guy who kept alternating between reading a book *some book called Dragonfly* and looking across to where I was sitting, curled up, with my diary.

Soon the lights in the hallway started going out… till at around 11, there remained only one light on in the entire coach. Me and the gorgeous guy, were perched up on our respective top berths, reading our respective books. At the same time, there were a lot of sneaking eye glances in each others direction. I was writing *again* and I had the distinct feeling that he was trying to make out what I was writing. The Mr. Obnoxious in the next cubicle, was loudly discussing his ancestral medical history, boring his companion to death. His berth mate had this glazed look in his eyes, that gave an impression of him wanting to jump out of the train the next second, which was making me laugh. I was trying to stifle my laughter, when I threw Mr. Hunk, a laughing glance.. he smiled back at me. We both looked in the direction of Mr. Obnoxious and crashed into a fit of giggles.

Now that the ice seemed broken, he said a soft , gentle “Hi”.
*again remember it was 2003, I was 17, and I was shy* I looked down, fighting to keep the color from rising in my cheeks, and said “Hello”.
“You headed for Hyderabad?” he asked, very politely.
“Yeah… you?”
“well, I m getting off at Begum Peth. I stay at Secunderabad.” He took in my “Ohh ok” expression , understanding that Secunderabad didn’t sound a lot different than Hyderabad, he added “Its one station before Hyd.”
This time my brows cleared and I said “ohh.. Ok.”
“Are you going for the first time?” he smiled *perfect teeth…wow*
“Yes. My Brother and his wife stay there. I m visiting them.” I could almost hear my Mom inside my head yelling - I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO STRANGERS....

... To be Continued...

Dec 20, 2008

TRAIN - Part 2

My train left from CST at around 12.15. I kept looking out of the window, writing all this stuff in my diary, cussing about dumb ass who had pissed me out of my own city :P , thinking about what my friends would be doing at that very moment… I just kept writing all the way till the outskirts of Mumbai. The AC was turned up, my feet were starting to get cold, and the train was moving so fast, that my pen was tilting whichever way possible. After some amount of writing, I decided to take a little nap.

I woke up just as the train pulled in at Lonavala. *my hair is exceptional in its jus-outta-bed look* People started pouring into the train as if it was a freaking stampede. Suddenly every single seat in the train was occupied, and train hawkers started yelling at the top of their voice “Chai… Bolo Chai…” Some guy was selling the latest issues of Femina, which I promptly bought. I called for the chai wala, and he came over eagerly “Coffee madam?” *do I look lik a coffee gal? I swear I get that ALL the time from tea vendors… I jus don’t LOOK lik a tea gal…* I nodded, scouring in my hand bag for change. I looked up, and found myself staring straight into the shyest eyes I had ever seen.

That lasted for the briefest of a second. The guy in question was this tall, handsome guy with a trekking backpack, quickly comparing my seat number with his own, and finally settling in the seat diagonally opposite mine. I handed my change to the chai wala, almost absently. I tried to look past the chai wala, cuz he was obstructing my view of the most gorgeous guy on the train right that moment. *n forgive me for being graphic, the most gorgeous ass as well… hahaha*

Now since this was like 2003, and since I was 17 years old, I was quite shy *ok NOT actually shy, but for that time, it seemed rude to stare*, so as soon as I opened my diary back again, I got absorbed in my mindless musings once again. I didn’t really forget abt that guy, but there were other things on my mind that seemed more interesting to brood about. And then dekhte dekhte.. It was evening, with the burning orange globe, setting beyond the far away hills. The stars were just starting to peep out from beyond the cotton wool clouds…

... To be continued...

Dec 18, 2008

TRAIN - Part 1

I have been lazing around at home for quite some time now. No work to do, no books to learn by rote, no frnds to go out wid. It was one of those days when u just feel like putting on your fav pajamas, wearing your most comfortable pair of socks, and snuggling in bed with either a good book or a good movie *in my case, settle down for a long chat with ur lappy.. hehe*. Alas, my Mom had other plans. She told me, in no uncertain terms, that if I didn’t clean my closet, like I have been promising since like last year, she will personally go thru my stuff *NOOOO- I yelped*, and throw out wht SHE feels like throwing out *WHTTT - gasped*. That pretty much covered everything that I owned. So I scowled *perfect imitation of scowl-woman from CG pracs (college pest-cum-prof)* and dragged my feet outta bed.

So there I sat, on a nice wintry night, going thru my closet, and then I found something that had lain forgotten for quite some time now. My old photo albums. They are really quite interesting, but the one I want to mention here, are these two albums, that covered my trip to Hyderabad 4 years ago *gosh I looked hawwt.. Haha..*. Rather, what those albums really reminded me, was this incident, which is straight out of some fairy tale book. I mean stuff like that didn’t happen to regular people, unless it’s some Bollywood flick.

It was the summer before I started the grueling 12th standard. When I say grueling, I really mean it, cuz KS classes, actually brought me close to a nervous breakdown. Anyway, I was going through a shit-phase in life, having just broken up with someone, grades stank, friends back stabbing, major fight with best friend.. etc etc.. so all in all I was lost and confused where life was headed, I needed a break. NOW.

So my Bhaiya gave a perfect solution. In those days he was staying at Hyd, with Bhabhi n their 1 n a half year old son. He asked me to come over n spend 2 weeks there. Mainly give company to Bhabhi, n in that enjoy a change of scenery in a brand new city. When I asked him, how was I to come thr, wid no one accompanying me, he simply asked to get on the next train and come alone. I was all up for it. Luckily so was mom. *YIPEEE*

So, I had mom pack my suitcase, dumped my important stuff in my hand bag, wore my newest jeans and newest denim jacket, and started for CST. With mom. She saw me off from there, in an eerily empty train to Hyd. I mean it was just me in the entire coach. Mom had asked the train wala agent, to book the aisle seats, the one with only 2 seats. N she booked them both, so that strange people wont be sitting next to me for my 18 hour journey. As the train pulled out of the station, she asked not to buy anything from the sellers in the train, not to talk to strangers and finally NOT *extra emphasis here* to get down on ANY platform. I did all the three things she asked me not to do. And no prizes for guessing what I enjoyed doing the most. That would be having one of the memorable conversations of my life.

... To Be Continued

Dec 17, 2008

BaBy i M So HigH ToniTe...

I am all alone…falling free...
Trying my best to remember …
What happened to me…what happened to us
What happened to my sweet little world,
As I watched it all slip out of my fingers.

The tears have left black mascara streaks
The passerby’s stare
At the poor girl in despair
See, how fucked up her life is
Wonder who’s she sleeping with now?

Baby would you rock me to sleep tonight?
Baby would you tuck me in the sheets?
Would you watch me till I fall asleep…
Coz, baby I m so high tonight…

The needle pricks my skin, as the crimson droplets fall
The picture starts to blur
The colors become bright
The blue and the red
I can feel the high baby…please hold me tight

Last time I waited and waited
For just a call.. Just a phone call
I cried a thousand tears for you
Hoping you would come and take me home
You never came baby… did u know I almost died that time?

Baby would you rock me to sleep tonight?
Baby would you tuck me in the sheets?
Would you watch me till I fall asleep…
Coz, baby I m so high tonight…

Couldn’t bear to go through the pain this time baby
Couldn’t bear to hear the shrill noise
Of my dreams and hopes shattering.. In myriad pieces
This place I have been before baby
I don’t wanna go there again

So here I m sniffing cocaine instead
  And getting high on the LSD in my veins
Trying to get rid of the motherfucking demons
So that I can concentrate
Concentrate… So I can forget

Baby would you rock me to sleep tonight?
Baby would you tuck me in the sheets?
Would you watch me till I fall asleep…
Coz, baby I m so high tonight…

Is it really the time to say goodbye?
Is it really that time to go separate ways?
I don’t blame you darling… but was I really that bad?
That you let me go?

The tears in my eyes… aren’t really for you
Its for someone inside me…who died today
Her last flailing breath… wrenched out of her
With your cruel words… she died
And I mourn her death

So please baby… just for today…

Baby would you rock me to sleep tonight?
Baby would you tuck me in the sheets?
Would you watch me till I fall asleep…
Coz, baby I m so lonely tonight…

P.S: Feeling the lonliest I have ever felt .... :(