Apr 26, 2009

Everything Changes

There was a chill in the air that evening. She pulled her overcoat a little closer to her, hugging herself, that cold autumn day. She needed to keep herself for breaking apart... Atleast not in front of him. Her throat ached and her eyes stung. She hadn’t slept a wink in the night and she felt like she would cry any moment.

The lump in her throat turned more painful when she saw him. He stood at the other end of the empty basketball court. Her breath seemed to catch as she saw him. They walked slowly towards each other… A walk that seemed to take forever when all it took for a few ticking seconds. As she started taking the steps she could feel herself changing. Her happy, funny and perpetually laughing mask seemed to be out of the closet. She pushed away the thoughts and the sleepless night and smiled a bright smile.

"Heyya Sweetypie"

He looked at her with eyes filled with a sea of emotions she couldn’t fathom. He looked at her with a desperation she didn’t want to thaw at the cold that settled around her heart. She wouldn’t ever let him see how much she ached on the inside.

"Are u ok?"

No I am anything but ok. She took d basketball and started to dribble away from him. Refusing to meet his eyes. "Yes of course I am you dummy!!! Why do u ask?"

He appeared in front of her out of nowhere, taking advantage of her being so tiny, blocking off her escape. He took d basketball with no difficulty and put it out of her reach, like the way one would do with a child.

"Heyyy..." She frowned. She cussed. He smiled and that nearly drove her crazy.

"Will u talk to me?" He said turning serious again.

She sighed. Resigned and defeated. They turned and walked to d edge of the court. Sitting down on d steps near d court, he began, "Are u upset with me?"

Yes I am. "Of course I m not… What makes you say that?" she said.

He said in a rush, "You wouldn’t pick up my calls... You wouldn’t reply to my messages.. Where have you been?". His eyes seem to burn down to the depths of her soul, willing her to say the truth.

I was hurting... U hurt me. "I was busy"

"So busy, you couldn’t reply back?"

Do I even exist for you? Can you even see how much I love u? "Areee baba... I was tied up all day. I m here now am I not??"

"You aren’t upset about me being with her are u?" He asked with a worried face.

Yes. I m so upset I can feel my heart break. "Nooo... Why would I be? You are happy. And that makes me happy. You crazy idiot!!"

"I love her a lot. She makes me so happy I can’t imagine being with anyone but her. She makes me feel things I didn’t know I could feel again"

A headache seemed to be building up.. tapping away annoyingly at d inside of her temple. Why was she even here? She should have listened to her best friend. She should at home, in her bed, shut away from d world... she should be alone. She felt something die inside her at his every syllable. She just smiled.

He looked away. Smiling foolishly. She wondered what he thought about? What would she be doing right this moment. What will she say when he proposed to her that night. What would she wear? How she would look in d flowing gossamer veil of white at their wedding? Something that felt horribly like tears prickled at the inside of her eyes. His joy seemed to vibrate out of him… touching everything around him. It made her feel like someone had driven a knife all the way down to the deepest corner of her heart.

Everything screamed at her to tell him about what she was feeling.

I love you so much it makes me crazy to think about you with another woman. I have loved you ever since I saw you first day at college. U had looked so wonderful in your white shirt and blue jeans it had made me go crazy. All these years I was your best friend when every single day I wanted to be more. I wanted to be the woman you imagined spending your entire life with.

It took her super human strength to speak.

“I am happy for you Sweetypie.... You deserve the best. She is very lucky she got you, you know.”

He looked at her then, smiling widely, the crow feet at the corner of his eyes. She wanted to look at anywhere but his face.. and yet she couldn’t stop from falling into love. All over again. With those eyes and that foolish smile. No matter what her mind screamed, she couldn’t look away. He came closer, drawing her in a hug. Kissing d top of her head. She allowed herself a few moments more to dream. She inhaled his scent.. of soap, shampoo, cologne and him. She held him tight because she knew maybe this was the last time she was holding him that way. She squeezed her eyes shut, ordering the tears to hold themselves.. just a few moments more.

She mumbled “I love u.. I love u more than she does.”

He laughed. The rich sound echoing in the empty quad. He ruffled her hair and said “Of course you do. I know you do jaan. You'll always be my number one. You know tat, right!!”

They broke apart and he held her still, smiling at her. She smiled at wooden smile, willing herself to get up and leave.

Please make me stay. Please Please hold me once more. “I need to go. Ill seeya later ok?”

He got up too, snatching the ball and putting in a layup. He said “Ok. Ill call u about what happens tonight. Though I know what the answer will be. You get to be my best man ok??!! Hahahaha..”

She could no longer smile.. starting to walk away from him.. the basketball.. college.. He called out, “Oye.. say Bye atleast!! ”

She waved without looking back. Every step she took seemed to put more distance between them than anything else.

As she reached the edge of the court, he called out again, “Nothing changes.. I love u too ok?”

She stopped in her steps and this time she could stop the tears that came. She nodded and waved again. He couldn’t see because he was already on the phone.

She started to walk again. Putting her hands in her pockets, as the breeze started to pick up. As the day started to get colder.

She whispered, “Everything changes.”

P.S: DO NOT DERIVE ANY CONCLUSIONS OUT OF THIS.

24 comments:

Jagged Edge said...

after a looooong time, i find my humble being as the first commenter to your awesome writings!!

jokes apart.... when it comes to stories, u have a knack for getting till the smallest of details ( i especially liked the crow-feet at the corner of his eyes.. cz there's a women's consensus on how hot it looks on guys!! example george clooney n other elder men :D )

cuts rite to the heart girl... i could almost imagine being that girl.. n thats wat it takes to be a good writer.. awesome post

n i cant help trying to "decipher" that code in the P.S. :D

Dream'R said...

who da man!!!!...

i broke the code..!! i deciphered annie granny's code!!...!!

this is one bloody emotional story annie!!...i m not commenting on it for obvious reasons!!

luv
amith

DPhatsez said...

a nice read! I'm not much for the mushy tales but this was refreshingly real.

Since its none of my business i refrain from commenting about anything else ;)

Everything changes. I speak from experience.

So chill.No worries mate!

Philip

IcE MaiDeN said...

@ Mona..

Damn!! A life time of knwing u ... n i had no clue u like crows feet too..!!! hehe!!! i gues i m nt d only one who like sgeorge clooney.. :) :) nicceee

N thanks for ur praise. Means a lot to me coming from u than anyone esle.

@Ami..

d code is so simple.. everyone will get it!!!

n Everythng Changes..
umm not quite everything.. :)
- Cindy.

@Philip,
Thanks mate!!! Hell do i knw everythng changes or wht??!!! but then such is life eh?! :)

bondgal_rulz said...

Awesome write up. :)

I wish the ending was different though.

And damn! girls need to learn to speak out what they feel....

Yes, everything does change. But stick around and you might notice that things are going in your favour. :)

P.S. tu sgzzix cngz NK corr grcgey rubk eua zuu. (Did I get that right?)

Satans Darling™ said...

A nice read! And I agree with everyone else, You are one of the best when it comes to conveying emotions in the form of writing!

Cheers!

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Isha,

GUYS need to learn how to speak abt feelings. Grls are awesome at it!!! :)

But i guess i shud stop. cz i jus got tagged as someone who cares abt herself.. n damn! tht hurt!

I wish d ending was diffrent too. But I dont think it will be. But i think i can lve wid it..got no other choice eh?

(wails) EVERYONE got my secret code tht is now not a code anymore..(wails louder) Damn!! n I was thinking i was learning somethng worthwhile in Cryptography 101.. hehe..

hugs,
Annie

@Ash,

Heyyyaaa grl!! I missed ur comments a long time. Thnaks a lot babes. Luv u lots.. whr hav u been?? Lot to catch up on eh? :) Tak care. Mwaahh!!!

mysterious gal said...

what to say to this one
U know ur the best at describing and expression emotions when u write it....and u did the same again....
Its true everything changes and lives moves on....but sometimes that change is for best

Loved this read like always
Love ya
Muaahz

americanising desi said...

i popped in thru femme fatale, and i m so glad i did and that u left that msg on shout box.

i had to get emotional today and u had the right doze for it :)

very very well poured!

IcE MaiDeN said...

@ Nabs,

Thanks babes!!! I need u guys more than ever before!! Mwahh!!! :)

@americanising desi,
I admire ur blog lik anythng!!! U are amazing!! n havin ur comment here makes my day!!
Thanks.

Annie.

The Blue Indian said...

I dont know if anyone else realised this or not, but I did- you have beautifully weaved TWO different events from your real life into one fictional account.. too good :)

I was almost teary-eyed halfway thru it!

IcE MaiDeN said...

@Karan,

actually ill tell u somethng interesting..its THREE different events weaved into one.. :)

keep guessing. :D

Luv,
Annie

яノςんム said...

too real!!!
one can associate themselves with this.. and ur narration, super strong!!

cheers!!

gargi said...

Sad endings...i dont like sad endings... :(

You say "everything changes"... I say "stop that change from happening... or mold it to be in your favor!"
No one has the right to snatch anything from u.

and you know what.. that could have been me..if I hadn't told abhi what i felt for him... and yes.. he had asked me to his "best (wo)man" at the wedding :|

and you are soooooooooo good at detailing everything to the last point!..awesome!!!

love ya..mwah!!!

Miss Sunshine said...

ann.. umm.. it was a brilliant story.. but.. i am scared..

C R D said...

Wow!!! lovely story gal.

Its true..Whether u like it or not. Everything changes. Things change when ur not needed anymore. Uve played ur role and the role isnt needed anymore.

Ive lost a few friends tht way. not tht i was interested in them or anything,:P but yea, thr comes a time when they dont need ur support anymore.

CRD

fms1988 said...

Speechless with this one..Im jus so emotional now !
I could see it all it's just FANTASTIC Annie.
It's so real aswell.

Everything changes its true & when it does your heart breaks but later when things change again you think it was for the best :)

Love ya girl.

Siya said...

WoW!! Loved every line of it!!

You really din't havta mention the P.S. cause obviously you've got some stuff going on!!

My advice..Snatch him back. ;-) ;-)

Stay Happy!! Cheers!! :D

oh and come back..with a BANG, okie?? :-)

IcE MaiDeN said...

@chris..
ur words make so much sense!! damn u shud be my shrink!! :)

@fms..
aww babes!!! thankkk uuuu soooo muccchhh!!! :) :)

@ siya...

u obv hav no clue who it is, do u??..lolz!!!

naah no snatching him back.. bcz d grl he likes is a sweetheart..(do i see some smiles?? :) )

n oh well!! u win some.. u lose some. :):)

Siya said...

whaaa..?? Am I SUPPOSED TO have a clue?? :-O :-O achaa..well..*narrows eyes* ab mujhe shak ho raha hai..lol..

IcE MaiDeN said...

weellll... *smiles*

Shwetha Maiya said...

Awesome event unfolding and the minute details of each.
Yeah Everything changes, It is gonna make you strong and conquer the different walks of life. So Don't Worry :) Take it in your stride. and will keep visiting for more such posts. Chao. Tc.

Post Script said...

Hey stumbled upon your blog in the comments section of another. I'll start off by mentioning I love your presentation. Good job.

Coming to this post. It is heartrendingly beautiful. It's true, everything changes. Even if it's just platonic, a boy-girl relationship always suffers a blow when one of them becomes emotionally involved with someone else. That camaraderie, that closeness, everything becomes awkward because there's someone else who will always be more important, more special. I came to terms with my friends drifting apart because you never really can hold on to something you had no control over.

Again good job. Kudos.

Cheers.

IcE MaiDeN said...

Hey PS,

Do u know u just summarized everything that this (not to fictious) story revolved around? :) *sigh*

Thank you visiting!

Cheers,
Annie.

Post a Comment